Virtually every family I know has issues and problems.
They have had good lives and built happy families. Most would say that, overall, they have been very blessed. But, sometime in their forties or fifties, things started going downhill.
Life is a journey, and there are peaks and valleys along the way. As we get older, many of us find ourselves in the deepest and darkest canyon we have ever encountered.
We all wind up facing a midlife crisis.
When Things Start Going Downhill
One definition of a ‘crisis’ is a time of intense difficulty or trouble. And, in this world, we will have troubles. And they often seem to show up in the middle part of our lives.
Why is it that way? Because, as we get older, we may begin to encounter a number of new circumstances that can disrupt our journey. Let’s see how that plays out in our lives by looking at some of the most common situations that many of us face:
- Our kids struggle in the teenage years, creating hurts we don’t know how to handle.
- Then, our kids move away, taking with them much of our former sense of purpose.
- Our parents age, and their health suffers, creating challenges we have not faced before.
- As we age, our physical fitness and appearance decline and alter how we see ourselves.
- At work, we become dissatisfied after not achieving the goals we envisioned in our youth.
- Busyness consumes us, and the lack of margin in our lives begins to create additional stress.
- Our bad decisions and habits catch up with us in the form of emotional issues and addictions.
- We encounter financial problems with mounting expenses and less savings than we need.
- Problems appear in our marriage from the cumulative burden of what we are going through.
- We realize we won’t change the world, and we begin to wonder what are purpose should be.
How many of those situations are going on in your life? And how are you coping with them? Does it ever seem like you may never find your way out of the valley?
It is normal for a family to go through more than one of those low places. Believe me, I know. Because our family encountered all 10 of them!
But let’s consider: just what is a midlife crisis? And does it have to be all bad? Tough times are when change–one way or the other–will likely take place. And, no matter how it seems, all is not dark.
Because the second meaning of a ‘crisis’ is a time when a decision must be made. When we face a midlife crisis, it becomes a turning point, a cross roads in the journey of our lives.
Climbing Out of the Valley
The good news is that a midlife crisis does not have to be the end of the world. In fact, it may be the start of a whole new life. The worst circumstances we face are sometimes the very things that lead us to where we really need to go. We can climb out of any valley if we choose the right path.
When we find ourselves in a midlife crisis, what steps can we take?
- Hold onto hope, and keep our eyes on the mountain peak ahead. Trust God as our guide, and surrender to his direction to show us the way forward.
- Change the things about ourselves that we need to change. Stop creating our own problems, and embrace the transformation that humble obedience can bring.
- Invest in relationships, show empathy, and develop friends we can rely on. When something goes wrong, be open and transparent rather than closing off. Talk to people. Get help.
- Move forward step by step, and focus on one day at a time. Keep doing the next right thing until we look around and see that we have, indeed, made progress.
- Do what we can to be of service to the people in our lives, and help them get through what they are facing. Many are in a valley too, and we all benefit by being there for each other.
If we have not faced a midlife crisis, that doesn’t mean we won’t. We just haven’t gotten there yet.
But we can prepare for them. At the same time, we can learn a new way of living that will lead us to a better place. We may not avoid the valley, but we can develop the stamina to make it through.
Question: Which of the 10 midlife challenges above is going on in your life?
Action: Pick which of the 5 life improvement steps you need to focus on most.
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