There are teenagers you care about, and you know substance abuse is a very real danger, so you want to learn more.
Overview
This “Life Improvement Tool Kit” will help you learn how becoming more proactive in your parenting will protect your kids from addiction and help them lead a happier life.
You want your kids to be happy and safe, so it’s worth a few minutes to see what you can do to protect them from the challenges and dangers facing teenagers today. With just a small investment of time, you can take a huge step toward becoming the best parent you can be.
You can do that by using these 6 lessons to find answers to some important questions …
Lesson 1. “What Teenagers Don’t Know Can Hurt Them”
•What risks are my teenagers facing simply because of what they don’t know?
•How can understanding those risks help prepare us to be proactive as parents?
•What are the most important areas we should focus on as we raise our kids?
•What are some practical conversations we can have with them to get started?
Getting Started
Next, take the quick Assessment immediately below to help you evaluate the importance of proactive parenting and identify what some priorities should be moving forward.
Then, go through each of the 6 lessons which follow. When you link to each article, you can watch a brief introductory video, listen to a short podcast, and read the text (with the same content as the podcast). Some key points are captured below for each article, but think about what ideas or techniques seem most helpful for your family and capture those notes.
At the end, you can create a plan for moving forward and commit to the steps you will take.
Assessment
Start by taking an assessment to help you determine some key points you will want to reinforce in your parenting. Write down your answers to the questions below:
1. From 1-to-10 (10 being High), how much risk do teenagers face from alcohol and drugs?
2. From 1-to-10, how important is it for parents to help protect their kids from addiction?
3. What are some topics parents should ensure they are talking to their teenagers about?
4. What teenage behaviors could be possible warning signs of a substance problem?
5. Which of these parenting traits are helpful in raising teenagers: awareness, understanding their world, having a plan, perseverance, unconditional love, and courage to set boundaries?
Now, with that additional understanding, take the next step with Lesson 1 below …
Lesson 1. What Teenagers Don’t Know Can Hurt Them
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 1.
Key Points to Consider
If you are a parent, protecting your kids against addiction is a battle worth engaging in, because you’re fighting it for your son’s or daughter’s well-being.
There are many things most young people don’t understand about substance abuse:
- There’s much they haven’t yet learned about how to live a healthy life.
- They normally lack a well-developed sense of self-awareness.
- They don’t have as many positive relationships as they should have.
- Even if they are “drug-savvy,” they don’t understand addiction well.
- They don’t plan ahead and underestimate consequences of their actions.
If you’re a parent, it’s critical to understand what teenagers don’t know. And to see that as a call to action, because you are the one who can teach them.
Lesson 2. Why Teenagers Take Drugs
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 2.
Key Points to Consider
Compared to adults, teens are more impressionable, prone to peer pressure, attracted to risk-taking, impulsive, self-centered, and prone to the effects of addiction.
Why do teenagers take drugs?
- To fit in, because they are eager for connection and hanging around the wrong friends.
- Because they want to have fun, and they don’t see drugs as a risk or even a big deal.
- Their lives are disrupted by a family move, a divorce, changing schools, or a breakup.
- There is an underlying medical or emotional issue, e.g. ADHD, depression, or anxiety.
- They are struggling with behavior traits that influence them toward substance abuse.
Drugs are mood-altering substances, and they affect many aspects of a teen’s behavior, so the road to addiction is normally marked by warning signs parents can look out for.
Lesson 3. Doing Nothing is a Decision
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 3.
Key Points to Consider
If your son had cancer, and it was treatable and preventable, you wouldn’t ignore his condition. Why do parents do that when their kids are abusing alcohol and drugs?
Doing nothing is a decision that can hurt your son or daughter severely if they are on the road to addiction. While you are doing nothing, this is what is happening to them:
- They stop maturing, and their normal development is put on hold.
- Their brain is being damaged by the alcohol or drugs they are consuming.
- Their dependence on those substances and behavior becomes stronger.
- Their self-defenses of rationalization and isolation are becoming more ingrained.
- The guilt and shame they feel is likely deepening, which reinforces their addiction.
Lesson 4. Raising a Drug Addict
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 4.
Key Points to Consider
This story is a satire to offer guidance to parents by showcasing the opposite behavior of what a good parent should normally think or do, and the statements below are examples:
Other families may have problems, but our kids would never use drugs. It can’t happen to us.
She’s just going through a phase, getting in trouble and lying sometimes. I told her no drugs are allowed, and I’m sure she will obey.
It will work out, and we don’t need to talk to anybody about it. Even if she does experiment with something, she’ll just grow out of it.
Those painkillers she was prescribed made her feel better. I’m not sure what happened to that big bottle she was given, but I don’t think there is a problem.
I’m sure our daughter is doing fine. Why worry about all that drug stuff?
Lesson 5. Preventing Addiction in Teenagers
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 5.
Key Points to Consider
90% of people with a substance problem began before age 18.
Based on the sequence of brain development, most teenagers are attracted to having fun, and they do not evaluate consequences well.
Effective parenting is not being overly authoritarian or too permissive. It requires being proactive and balanced.
80 percent of teens say their parents are the biggest influence on their decision to drink.
Proactive parenting calls for learning, planning, follow-through, perseverance, unconditional love, and courage to set boundaries.
Lesson 6. What Every Teenager Needs to Hear
See the complete lesson by clicking here: Lesson 6.
Key Points to Consider
Research validates that parents positively impact their kids by talking to them. And there are some things that every teenager needs to hear.
It starts with building a strong foundation: you are loved, you have great value, you have a good future, and we’re not perfect (as parents).
And continues with additional reinforcement and encouragement: it’s okay not to be okay, you’re not alone, you can talk to us, and you can talk to someone else.
Parents should also emphasize: we will have boundaries, you are responsible for your choices, we will forgive you, and we hope you make good choices.
These days, they can’t forget: alcohol and drugs are a big decision, you have a way out, we want you to be ready, some choice are very dangerous, and addiction can happen to anyone.
Create a Plan
You have now learned some very important lessons by going through this Tool Kit including:
• Substance abuse can happen in any family, and we need to do something about it.
• We’re busy, but this is critical, so we must be very alert for signs of substance use.
• We must be proactive as parents (in spite of uncertainty, fear, or embarrassment).
• Being a good parent is important, and we can benefit from education on what to do.
• We can make a difference in our kids’ lives, and we must stay connected to them.
• We can get started helping our kids by having good conversations with them.
Now, you should make some plans to help you do your best at proactive parenting. To help you get started, write down your answers to the questions below:
1. Are you committed to protecting your kids from addiction and helping them learn to live life well, and will you take the time to build a proactive parenting plan?
2. Write down topics you should have conversations with your teenager(s) about.
3. What other activities should you include in your parenting plan for the next year?
4. For each teenager you care about, use the Proactive Parenting online assessment tool to evaluate the risks and warning signs affecting them.
5. Are your kids important enough to you to get some online training on Proactive Parenting?
You should capture a plan that is appropriate for each of your kids. Moving forward, the critical success factors will be to maintain your awareness, continue to get education in any areas needed, and connect to people and organizations who can offer you support and help.
You don’t have to be perfect as a parent, but you should be proactive. Make the best choices you can one day at a time and love your kids along the way. Enjoy the journey!
Get Started
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