How do young people navigate the teen years effectively?
When Emma was younger, life seemed simple and fun, but in her early teens she started having feelings she didn’t understand. Why was she so anxious all the time now? And where did this sense of insecurity come from? It didn’t make sense, and it scared her to be feeling that way because she didn’t know what to do about it. Who was this new person she had somehow turned into?
Things like this weren’t supposed to happen to people like her! She had always thought of herself as “the good girl” but that was not the self-image she carried inside anymore. Instead, she felt broken and alone. She was too embarrassed—ashamed—to talk to her parents or friends about what was going on with her. She just wanted to feel normal again but didn’t know how.
The anxiety and insecurity followed her everywhere, and they got worse at get-togethers and social events. One Friday night at a party, she found herself standing in the corner almost in panic, not knowing how to act around all these people. Her friend Madison said she could help and secretly handed her a pill. “It’s just a Xanax, Emma. Take it and you’ll feel better. Go ahead, what’s the problem?”
A lot changes when kids grow up to become teenagers, and sometimes life seems harder and more complicated than it used to be.
There are more vivid feelings and mood swings for almost everyone during those years. If you’re a teenager, what you may not understand is that most of your friends are having struggles of their own. They just aren’t talking about it, and they go out of their way to make their life seem great by posting happy-looking pictures and videos on social media all the time.
How can you navigate the ups and downs of the teenage years safely and happily? It starts by becoming aware of your feelings and learning how to manage them effectively. It involves recognizing there are more risks and temptations around you now, and some of them can be dangerous. And, no matter how you’re feeling, knowing that you are not broken or alone—you’re normal!
Here are three things you can do to develop your awareness during the teenage years so you can keep moving in the right direction:
Increase your self-awareness
Do you know yourself? Many people don’t and are either too blind to see areas they should work on or too insecure to appreciate their strong points. Know that you have great worth and value, and you’ll live more happily and effectively by learning to understand yourself.
- Be aware of your emotions – Everyone has feelings—good and bad. It helps to be aware of them, but you don’t want to let emotions dictate your choices. Instead, when you feel worried or insecure, see it as a warning light and ask yourself, “Why am I feeling that way?”
- Recognize your weak areas – All of us have areas we can improve, and that’s normal. Knowing what those areas are means you can work on them so they don’t create problems in your life. Pick one area you want to improve and one step you can take to get started.
- Leverage your strengths – God designed you in a special way, and you have strong points that will help you make a difference in the world. Think of three things you like to do, do well, or want to learn. Then look for activities where you can apply those strengths.
Be comfortable in your identity
Most teenagers struggle with identity, and many obsess on their issues and feel broken and alone. The reality is we all have problems, not just some of us, but we don’t talk about them with our friends. It really is okay not to be okay, but you don’t have to stay that way.
- Realize everybody has issues – What’s on social media is not reality. Everybody has issues, worries, and things they are insecure about, but they don’t post them on Instagram or TikTok. It’s okay if you are anxious or sad sometimes—we all are—and you’re totally normal.
- Believe you have great value – You are the only person on earth with your attributes and experiences, and you have great worth exactly as you are. Your identity is that you are a child of God, and he loves you. Deep in your heart, be assured that you have value.
- Know you have a good future – God has great plans for you. He wants you to be healthy, happy, and productive. You are on earth for a reason, and there are things you are meant to do in life. You have a good future in front of you, and you can get there a step at a time.
Develop situational awareness
All of us are influenced by the world around us. This is fine sometimes, but it can also be dangerous. If you keep your eyes open and think about what’s going on around you, you’ll be in better position to make choices that lead you in the right direction in life.
- Understand warning signs – If you’re feeling more anxious or sad, your grades are dropping, or you’re hanging around friends with bad habits, you could be moving in a dangerous direction. You can turn things around one step at a time, so choose that next right step.
- Look out for peer pressure – When other people are doing something wrong, they may encourage friends to do those things so they feel less guilty themselves. If someone offers you a drink, pill, or weed, simply say: “No thanks.” A real friend will respect your choices.
- Set boundaries for yourself – The only person who can protect you from bad choices is you. Be true to yourself. Respect your body, character, and future. Decide on situations, people, and behaviors to avoid. In sketchy situations say, “I have a curfew and have to leave.”
Next Right Steps: See the next of this article series: “It Matters That Young People Know How to Find Connection and Belonging.”
