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WATCH A 1-MINUTE INTRODUCTORY VIDEO
Do you want to find out what kind of parent you are and learn how you can get better? The stories in this article will help you figure that out.
In Part 1 of this article, we met 3 kinds of people: Helen and Harry are Harmful Parents, Rachel and Robert are Reactive Parents, and Paula and Patrick are Proactive Parents. They represent 3 different types of moms and dads, but what kind of parent are you?
Once you figure that out, there’s help for you to understand where to go from there.
STEPS Proactive Parenting is education to help you raise healthy and happy kids. You will learn how to positively influence the development of your children versus waiting until something goes wrong to react to issues or problems. Becoming a Proactive Parent helps you prevent problems and promote wellness so your kids thrive. It will bring you more peace and help you effectively build a happier family.
Meeting and Getting to Know the Parents
To appreciate the benefits of STEPS Proactive Parenting, let’s get to know the parents we introduced in Part 1 of this article a bit better …
Helen and Harry are Harmful Parents. They don’t prepare for their parenting role and sometimes make selfish decisions or inadvertently set a bad example for their kids. Helen is too permissive, and Harry is too authoritarian. They may not always notice when something serious is going on with one of their children. They love their kids, but they don’t share that love with them as openly or as often as they could.
They unknowingly encourage negative behaviors because they haven’t studied how different parenting techniques affect their kids. They selfishly continue in their own bad habits and are a bit lazy in terms of having a parenting plan to help them take the next right steps.
My wife and I have been harmful parents at times. Like Helen and Harry, my wife was too enabling with our first son which meant she was encouraging feelings of entitlement in him. Meanwhile, I was subconsciously trying to control him but wound up exasperating him instead. We didn’t realize that both behaviors could have been harmful for the son we loved so much.
Rachel and Robert are Reactive Parents. Both are crazy-busy and often distracted or unobservant when preoccupied or staring at a digital device. They love their kids but aren’t as empathetic as they could be, so they don’t understand what’s really going on in their world.
Neither Rachel nor Robert use parenting education resources. They’re misinformed in some areas and confused in others because they don’t have the benefit of learning from other people’s experiences. They don’t have a parenting plan and feel frustrated and stuck at times.
My wife and I have been reactive parents sometimes. I was distracted by work pressures at times, and she could have observed more closely changes our son went through in the teen years. At the time, we weren’t reading parenting books or materials but winging it on our own.
If you’re honest with yourself, you likely see yourself at times as Helen, Harry, Rachel, or Robert. But know that’s not just you—it’s all of us!
Prevent Problems and Promote Wellness
How do you become the best parent you can be?
Paula and Patrick are Proactive Parents and are balanced, relational, thoughtful, and intentional in their approach with their kids. Where did they learn those skills? At a STEPS PACES for Parents seminar at their church and through STEPS online resources and a parenting blog.
PACES for Parents is an education program to help you be a proactive parent. The word “P-A-C-E-S” is an acronym for:
- Preparation – Help you be more proactive in equipping your kids for the life stages they will go through.
- Your children learn from your positive example and your teenagers are ready for challenges they will face.
- Awareness – Be aware of what’s really going on with your kids and balanced in your approach with them.
- Your children learn to manage their feelings and your teenagers see how to handle issues such as anxiety.
- Connection – Develop good communication with your sons and daughters by being relational and empathetic.
- Your children build healthy social skills, your teenagers feel secure and supported, and both grow closer to God.
- Education – Learn what to expect with your kids and how to help them prevent problems with thoughtful choices.
- Your children develop positive behaviors to enhance their well-being and teens learn to deal with risky situations.
- Steps – Build a plan for your family with simple, intentional steps you can take to equip your kids to thrive in real life.
- Your children feel safe and comfortable from your consistent parenting and your teenagers grow into their potential.
As a proactive parent, you will find more peace to help you sleep better at night. Any frustration, anger, or fear you may have felt parenting your kids will lessen. You’ll feel good because you will know you are doing your best at one of the most important roles of your life.
We’ve talked about some key questions to help you protect your kids and equip them and the whole family to have happier lives:
- WHAT kind of parent are you?
- WHY do you want to be a great parent?
- HOW do you become the best parent you can be?
But perhaps the most critical question is left for you to answer: “What kind of parent will you choose to be?”
Next Right Steps: Read Part 1 of this article and use the resources at LifeImprovementSteps.com/ProactiveParenting.
