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It’s important for parents to talk to their kids. But have you thought much about what to say?
Research validates that parents positively impact their kids by talking to them. And there are some things that desperately need to be said. In fact, they are what every teenager needs to hear.
This article is simply to offer suggestions of some key topics to address. Handle the conversations in your own style, but it is likely that many of these topics are worth talking about one way or the other. You don’t have to be perfect, just do your best. But talk to your kids!
Remember that having a good conversation with your teenager should ideally be more listening than talking. But there are also some things you really ought to say.
What Every Teenager Needs to Hear
You are loved – We love you very much, exactly as you are. You are a blessing to us, and there is nothing that can ever separate you from our love. We are very proud of you, just as you are.
You have great value – You are designed in a special way. You have unique talents that set you apart from everyone on earth. God did a good work in you, so be comfortable with who you are.
You have a good future – God loves you deeply, and he will be there for you. He has purposes and plans for you. There is meaning and significance in who you are and what you will do with your life.
We’re not perfect – Parents have issues just like everyone. We’re sorry for any mistakes we make, but we promise to do our best. You can talk to us about how we deal with you, and we will listen.
It’s Okay Not to Be Okay Sometimes
It’s okay not to be okay – If you ever have something that’s bothering you, know that this is totally normal, because we all have issues at times. Many young people deal with depression, anxiety, and loneliness. It really is okay, so let’s talk about it.
You’re not alone – Social media is not reality. Your friends aren’t as happy as they post, and they have issues too. In fact, there are many people who feel the same way you do.
You can talk to us – We want to know what’s going on in your life, and we will do our best to listen well. We want you to be able to talk to us about the bad things as well as the good things.
You can talk to someone else – If you ever want to talk to a counselor, a pastor, or anyone else, that is absolutely okay. Seeing a therapist is like going to the doctor for the flu, and it’s totally fine.
You Are Responsible for Your Choices
We will have boundaries – Because we love you, we will stand by the rules we give you. If you ignore the boundaries, it’s your choice to take the consequences, and we will always enforce them.
You are responsible for your choices – If you make any bad decisions, we will treat each one as an opportunity for you to learn. We won’t cover up for you, or protect you. For example, if somehow you wind up in jail, we will likely leave you there for a while. Hopefully, that will help you later.
We will forgive you – If you make a mistake, please tell us, and we can move on. There may be some consequences, but it will be much better that way. We will still love you and forgive you.
We hope you make good choices – We hope you find activities you like that are fun, bring you satisfaction, and are safe. We hope you will have good friends who are trying to live life the right way. If there is anything we can do to help you in those areas, we are very willing to do so.
Some Choices Can Be Very Dangerous
Alcohol and drugs are a big decision – When you are an adult, you will decide what you want to do. But taking substances when you are young can be very dangerous. Because it’s so important, we want to talk to you about it every once in a while, and you can ask us any questions you want.
You have a way out – If you are ever in an uncomfortable situation, such as at a party, you can call us and we will come get you. You can tell your friends it’s our fault if that helps you get away.
We want you to be ready – You know our rules on drinking and drugs. But if you ever decide to break them, you should know what to expect. At first, it may be fun. And some of your friends may be doing it. That doesn’t make it right, and it doesn’t mean it’s not a mistake. Part of growing up is being responsible enough to make wise choices even when there are temptations.
Some choice are very dangerous – Driving or being in the car with someone under the influence can get you, or someone else, killed. Again, you can call us at any time if you ever need to. And some drugs can kill you too, like heroin, the stuff mixed with it, and the pills that lead to it.
Addiction can happen to anyone – There are things you may not know about addiction. It is a disease that changes and harms the brain, and it’s easier for teenagers to become addicted than adults. Every time you use a mind-altering substance, there is damage, and the risk gets bigger.
There are many subjects parents should talk to their kids about, so feel free to add to your list of what every teenager needs to hear. And if you are wondering if teens pay attention on topics such as drinking, I’ll close with a quote from the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
Parents influence whether and when adolescents begin drinking as well as how their children drink. Research shows that teens and young adults do believe their parents should have a say in whether they drink alcohol.
Question: Have you talked to your kids about what every teenager needs to hear?
Action: If not, get started by picking one topic and talking to them about it today.
Photo by Meg Stewart 
Photo by Ciokka
