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I used to wonder: was God there only later in my life, or was he there before and I didn’t notice?
As a boy, my family went to church, but those Sunday services were boring and seemed to drag on forever. There were only so many doodles I could fit on those small programs they handed out, and then what do I do? My spiritual outlook picked up for a while in my teens when I noticed that cute girls went to church too, but any experimental thoughts about God soon evaporated in the excitement of college and starting a career.
Along the way, I found a loyal companion—alcohol—who seemed to serve my needs well. And I was able to make it through some stupid choices okay although, in retrospect, I’m not sure how I did. Was God there in those times, and did he protect me even as I ignored him?
Continuing the Journey
During my 20s, I had fun, but seeking purpose in excitement, achievement, and money didn’t bring the satisfaction I sought. Getting married was a big step, although it turned out I now had a convenient drinking buddy who also had put God on the back burner.
Having kids was a bigger change—was I a grownup now?—but life was still good. And being highly functional at work was all the evidence I needed that alcohol obviously wasn’t a problem. Was God there, following my random search for purpose, patiently waiting for me to look in his direction?
With kids, we started going to church occasionally (aren’t families supposed to?). Surprisingly, I found myself thinking about spiritual things more, and I slowly became fascinated with books on the factual evidence surrounding the Bible, God, Jesus, and the Resurrection. It seemed necessary for me to figure out God intellectually before I could consider him emotionally or spiritually. Was God there all along, gently encouraging my toddler-like steps and urging me to come to him?
During that process of learning, I would repeatedly ask my wife, “If all that stuff about God and Jesus is really true, doesn’t that change everything?” That struck me as a truly profound question.
When Everything Changes
Until, eventually, the facts and logic became indisputable: it is all true! But I still needed a change of heart before it became real. Moving to Orlando interrupted that discovery process, but we seemingly randomly (or not) found ourselves in a great church near our new home.
And, somehow, I wound up tagging along with the men’s group to a Promise Keepers event. Me? How did that happen? We arrived at the football stadium late, and it was dark as we wound our way up the ramps to our upper deck seats. We found our aisle and emerged into a floodlit panorama of 60,000 men all gathered together for one reason: to worship Jesus Christ.
Suddenly, everything in my life made sense. And, without a doubt or second thought, it became totally clear: God was there all along!
I could see the milestones that had led me to that moment, and my life took on a new and deeper significance. God literally overwhelmed me with his presence and goodness. I saw the purpose I had sought all my life, and my heart welcomed Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. From that moment, my life began to change in incredible ways, and God was present on a frequent basis.
Getting Through the Valley
But my more-than-social drinking continued, and after a while I began to feel that the habit (idol) meant too much to me. Was this going to be what the rest of my life was like? Was I being disobedient to the God I said I followed?
Life became miserable. I knew I had to quit, and I am convinced God helped me through that process. I grew to enjoy and respect what I was learning in recovery, and I saw that taking those steps with Jesus added a supernatural—miraculous—element to that journey.
But my family’s tough times continued. My wife struggled with depression and relapse, and our son got into drugs in high school. Our life came to revolve around anxiety, addiction, and recovery.
During some of those dark nights, my prayers seemed to go nowhere: was God there then? Why wasn’t he listening to me? But, amazingly, those trials didn’t lessen my faith; they increased it! I desperately clung to God as my lifeline to sanity, and he became the birth of my hope.
The Meaning of the Journey
Now, I have no doubt that God’s involvement in my life and his power and grace were what got me through and led me forward. I actually appreciate the tough times we endured, and my faith in Jesus Christ is the most important thing in my life.
I have no doubt God was there all along.
My relationship with God has a new context now. I know he’s there, and every day I’m excitedly trying to notice what he’s doing, and how. I meet someone that it seems I’m supposed to meet: was that a divine appointment? Something I feared turns out not so bad: was God there? The theme for an article pops into my mind: was he there? And there, and there, and there?
If you wonder about the Bible, God, Jesus, and the Resurrection, realize that taking a step of faith is a decision, a choice you make based on faith. But pause to consider something important: “If all that stuff about God and Jesus is really true, doesn’t that change everything?”
When you’re near the end and look back on your life, will you wonder: what if God was there?
Question: Accepting Jesus is taking a step toward an invisible God; have you taken that step?
Action: Click on the blue links in this article to read more on how you can know God is there.
