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How many high-functioning alcoholics do you know? 10? 5? Whatever the number, it’s not “zero.”
Did that question strike you as a paradox: alcoholics who are still high-functioning? Because an alcoholic is one of those homeless people drinking out of a paper bag in an alley, right? Sometimes.
At other times, it’s your spouse, or sibling, or friend, or co-worker, or boss. Or your straight-laced doctor or attorney. Perhaps the server at the restaurant, or the guy doing work on your house. Or your favorite athlete or movie star. And, on the surface, they may seem to be doing okay.
More often than most people think, it could be a Vice President at your company, or that top-performing salesperson everyone raves about. Because, unknown to many, alcoholics are often high-functioning, come from a white collar background, and serve in positions of leadership.
They may seem to be in control but, inside, they have issues they may not understand, or even recognize. And they’re not talking to anyone about them. Which leads to the other paradox in that original question: you do know high-functioning alcoholics, but you may not know you know them.
People who are better educated and of higher socioeconomic status are more likely to drink alcohol than others. (Organization of Economic Co-operation and Development)
Getting Comfortable With the Paradox
I was in my 30s before it hit me I was an alcoholic. Obviously, I wasn’t very self-aware back then. Plus, I wasn’t talking to anyone about my drinking, and nobody ever said anything to me about it.
I was proud of what I accomplished. I was high-functioning, so there wasn’t a problem, right? I was so sure of that fact that it took me until my late 40s to do anything about it. That’s called denial.
After starting STEPS Ministries, I didn’t use the term “high-functioning alcoholic” to describe what I was like when I was drinking. I didn’t want to appear prideful or act like I wasn’t a real alcoholic.
But I began to notice that the term seemed to connect with many people. And it’s interesting: What are high-functioning alcoholics (HFAs)? How does someone know if they are one? If they really are high-functioning, does it even matter if they drink?
People ask if there are many of them out there. Yes, millions, and there always have been.
You know them: Socrates, Vincent Van Gogh, Alexander the Great, Benjamin Franklin, and Ulysses Grant. Plus Mark Twain, Winston Churchill, Boris Yeltsin, William Faulkner, and Frank Sinatra.
Orson Welles, Richard Nixon, Buzz Aldrin, Mary Tyler Moore, and George W. Bush. And Stephen King, Ben Affleck, Betty White, Samuel L. Jackson, and Brad Pitt. The list goes on and on …
Understanding High-Functioning Alcoholics
Addiction is a compulsive behavior we repeat over and over and find hard to stop, even though it has negative consequences.
High-functioning alcoholics are people who appear to function normally despite being addicted to alcohol. They are often not viewed as alcoholics because they don’t fit the common stereotype since they have succeeded or over-achieved during their life.
This success can lead to denial of alcoholism by the HFA and by co-workers, family, and friends. And substance abuse with high-performers is harder to gauge because it is often secretive, and they have the cleverness and resources to keep it hidden from others.
They’re not shooting heroin. It’s almost always alcohol or prescription meds, usually pain killers, in this group. (Constance Scharff, PhD – addiction researcher, author, and speaker)
But a HFA is still an alcoholic. Which means they need alcohol, and they use it to feel a way they can’t feel otherwise. To relax, or handle stress, or turn their brain off so they can rest for a while. It’s part of how they cope with life. They may be able to abstain from drinking for periods of time, but they soon find themselves thinking about when and how they can drink again.
They likely start to hide their behavior, and they might even drink alone at times. In other words, alcohol is in control, and their drinking and the related consequences will likely escalate over time.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease, and it will get worse. It may take months, or years, or decades. To repeat: if the person doesn’t do something to prevent the downward spiral, it will get worse!
The homeless person and the high-powered executive can both be alcoholics. However, because the high-functioning alcoholic has the ability to perform and succeed, the treatment often comes too late or not at all. (Sarah Allen Benton in Understanding the High-Functioning Alcoholic)
How High-Functioning Alcoholics Are Wired
In the article “The Cost of High Achievement,” I wrote about how the attributes of many high-functioning people align eerily with those of alcoholics, including traits such as:
- Obsession on achievement or even perfection
- Compulsion for control and self-sufficiency
- Fixation on entitlement and pride
While their work style may produce results, there are often hidden costs as well, especially if they are a leader. Perfectionism creates inefficiency, control becomes micro-management, and pride leads to bad judgment. And though they may remain high-performing, they are not operating at their best, with research suggesting they are 30% less productive than they could be.
The pleasure derived from success is borne of the very same brain pathways that make substance use so irresistible to some. (David Linden in “Why the Brains of High-Powered People May Be More Prone To Addiction”)
And pressures from a high-performing environment that may be fast-moving, uncertain, and complex create new levels of stress. Which provide a rationale and an excuse to keep drinking.
But, in most cases, the HFA was likely an alcoholic even before they became outwardly successful.
And they may find that success doesn’t solve their problems or bring peace of mind. And that recognition, power, and money do not offer them the feelings they crave. Their outward bravado may cover an inner emptiness, and their compulsive drive can make contentment fleeting at best.
My strong, strong suspicion is that what makes some people more likely to rise to the top is the same thing that makes them more likely to be addicts. (David Linden, neurobiologist at John Hopkin’s School of Medicine)
Learning the Next Steps to Take
How do high-functioning alcoholics prevent things from getting worse? Then, begin to get better?
SAMHSA (the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) states: “Prevention approaches focus on helping people develop the knowledge, attitudes, and skills they need to make good choices or change harmful behaviors.” Which says: we can learn to prevent addiction!
And there’s more good news in that prevention skills can help people at any stage of addiction. That’s what STEPS Ministries is all about. But with HFAs, there are two critical success factors:
- Self-awareness: Developing humility to accept their imperfections and work on their issues.
- Accountability: Finding vulnerability to connect with people who will be honest with them.
Unfortunately, those traits may not come naturally to someone wired for achievement, control, and pride. And who has always attached their self-worth to success. But it can certainly be done, and these people can find a peace and happiness they have never known before.
And they will be even more high-functioning than before! More productive and with greater resilience and sharper judgment. Better executives, managers, team-leaders, or co-workers.
How did all those people become high-functioning alcoholics in the first place? One step at a time.
How do they get even better? The same way.
Question: Have you read the companion article “Recognizing a High-Functioning Alcoholic?”
Action: If you are a HFA or know one and need to talk to someone about it, please email me.
