Life is complicated for teenagers, and it’s hard to know what to do sometimes
Logan is a good guy, but he’s facing some situations and questions in his sophomore year of high school that he’s not sure how to handle …
When he’s at a party and people are drinking, what should he do? What if he’s nervous about asking a girl out? What if she says no? How come he’s not doing all the fun things everyone else posts on social media? If his friends go to a party without him, how should he feel? How should he act around the cool crowd at school? What about when he feels anxious or insecure, and does he talk to anyone about it?
Is he supposed to fight the guy who taunts him at PE? Is it okay to let kids cheat off his math test? If he sees porn on the internet, does it matter if he looks at it? If he’s nervous in conversations, what can he do? How can he have more friends? Should he accept an invitation to a church youth group? If he’s struggling at school, what does he do? Is he crazy because he’s secretly thought about hurting himself?
There are no magic answers for Logan’s questions, but he could use some tips on handling the real-life challenges of the teen years. He’s struggling with feelings, wondering if God should be in his life or not, and trying to learn to think for himself and deal with relationships.
Where can he learn some practical ways to handle the questions and situations he is facing as a teenager?
Where—when, how, and from who—do young people learn about real life?
“Real life” means everything you’re going through now, not just after school is done. You’re facing new situations, and things are changing, including you. You may be dealing with pressures, temptations, and anxiety, sadness, or insecurity. “Real life” comes later too, and the thought patterns, habits, and life skills you learn—or don’t learn—during the teen years will influence who you’ll be and how you’ll live.
Where do you learn about real life? It may be through advice from parents and wisdom from the Bible. It can also come from learning from your experiences and helpful resources like what you’re reading now. And if you develop into a self-learner during the teenage years, you’ll be better equipped for the rest of your life. Here are 3 pieces of real-life education that can also help you become a self-learner:
Prepare yourself for situations
A lot changes in the teenage years, and we can wind up in situations we’ve never been in before. It’s hard to know what to do sometimes, and you may be dealing with emotions and peer pressure too. But you can be proactive and equip yourself for situations ahead of time.
- Anticipate future situations – Ahead of time, you can make thoughtful decisions instead of choosing in the heat of the moment when emotions and peer pressure are involved. What situations could put you in an uncomfortable position or lead you to a tough choice?
- Utilize helpful information – What worked for you in the past, what didn’t, and why? Are there people you trust who can offer advice? What techniques from this material are useful to you? Are you willing to keep the link to this material so you can come back to it later?
- Figure out your approach – What choice will lead to the best outcome? Which will keep you healthy and benefit you in the long-term? If you’re going to a party, do you have a plan to get home safely and an exit strategy if needed? Are there situations you should avoid?
Develop emotional intelligence
What is emotional intelligence (EQ for short)? It’s how well you understand and manage emotions and relationships. Research shows EQ is more important than IQ (cognitive intelligence) in determining happiness and success. EQ has principles you can learn to live life better.
- Accept EQ as important – EQ can improve your life and help you avoid conflicts, communicate effectively, and empathize with others. It enhances your well-being, relationships, and performance. The best news on EQ is it can be learned and improved if you focus on it.
- Utilize proven life hacks – Here are EQ tips you can use: (a) don’t obsess on getting your own way; (b) let go of things that bother you; (c) speak clearly and listen actively; (d) show empathy by responding positively to people; and (e) have a go-to coping mechanism.
- Keep improving your EQ – Emotional intelligence is integrated into much of this material for teenagers in addition to this section. You now have useful techniques you can practice to help you be happier and more successful. But actually taking those steps is up to you.
Learn to manage your mind
Choices lead to consequences—good or bad—and you have an incredible computer to help you make decisions: your mind. When facing a choice, neuroscience and psychology have a proven process for making decisions with these 3 steps: “Pause, Evaluate, and Choose.”
- Pause to understand more – Situations become clearer when you use “the power of the pause.” Rather than reacting impulsively to thoughts, emotions, or temptations, step back and take a breath. Interrupt the moment, relax, and become aware of what’s happening.
- Evaluate what’s going on – Engage your rational mind to balance your emotions. Ask: “What am I feeling and why? Do I need to act now or not, and what are the choices? What are consequences of those choices? Which choice will likely work out best in the long run?”
- Choose an action to take – In many ways, your life will be the sum of choices you make. Don’t obsess on making perfect choices but pick the best option you can. Doing nothing is sometimes okay unless you’re procrastinating or avoiding something you should do.
Next Right Steps: See the next and final article in this series: Young People Can Create a Good Future by Taking Small Steps Forward.
