How to Live a Life with Purpose

I was shocked when I saw who walked onto the plane. No way this was a coincidence.

We were at the gate at La Guardia, and I was tired and ready to get home. I was in Business Class thanks to frequent flyer miles from my hectic Sales job. Just before they closed the door to depart, he got on board: an elegant, world-famous athlete and one of my all-time heroes.

I was still stunned to see such a famous celebrity making his way down the aisle toward me. Much more so because it was him! He stopped, folded his coat carefully in the overhead, and sat down—next to me.

At that moment, I didn’t know this was to become an epiphany that would define my life purpose.

But I knew I had to talk to him, so I said hello. He was polite, but I caught him by surprise with my next statement: “I think I’m supposed to ask you something.”  

A few short weeks later, one of the most exciting and life-changing events of my life occurred. All because one particular man sat in one particular seat on that particular flight on that particular day.

People sometimes spend decades trying to figure out their purpose in life. Others never do, and some don’t even think about it. But purpose sat down next to me on that airplane. (To be continued …)

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.” (Oliver Wendell Holmes)

Understanding the Nature of Purpose

The terms “meaning and purpose” are often used interchangeably. They’re a bit different, though they are complementary concepts, and they work together in our search for significance.    

Meaning is why we exist and why we do what we do, either intentionally or subconsciously. Purpose is where we are going and what steps we take to get there.

Our purpose fulfills our desire for meaning.

Purpose is the outcome we want to achieve and the course of action we embark on to do something meaningful. It is how we achieve our potential in life and make an impact on the world. Purpose is what we strive for, providing direction that guides our actions and choices.  

But purpose is a journey, not a destination. As we get older, we sense more acutely that we yearn to be part of something bigger than us. How do we live a life of purpose? It is by:

Using our gifts and our design – Purpose is recognizing what we are meant to do and have been equipped to achieve, including things we aspire to do. It is what we do well and enjoy as well as areas we want to grow into and improve. We have been designed with purpose; we don’t have to create it because we already have it. Our role is to find it and use it to empower what we do. 

Aligning our life to our values – Purpose is how we determine our direction in life. We find purpose by recognizing values we have declared important—hopefully intentionally—and living our life in alignment with those beliefs. Purpose comes from our heart, and it is what inspires us to pursue our dreams for the future. It helps us keep our eyes on where we are going.     

Living on purpose one day at a time – We can all find purpose right where we are by examining our circumstances and the people we are around. When we are given an opportunity to make an impact, we have a responsibility to do what we are meant to do. We live on purpose by taking steps in the right direction: focusing on things that matter and living intentionally each day.

Life is defined by our choices. If we live impulsively, selfishly, and randomly, we will experience the frustration, emptiness, and disappointment those choices bring.

The alternative is much more attractive. It is to be encouraged and inspired by a higher calling and choose to make an impact by using our gifts, aligning our life, and living on purpose. When we do, we see that it brings us fulfillment, significance, and motivation. It is our choice to achieve our purpose.

“The tragedy in life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.” (Benjamin Mays)

Coming Face to Face with Purpose

It was a time of miracles. Literally, not figuratively.  

In the Fall of 1996, I had discovered meaning and found faith at a Promise Keepers event in Jacksonville, Florida. That breakthrough changed everything for me, and it was only the beginning.

Afterwards, I found myself experiencing a parade of epiphanies as new insights, large and small, reshaped my beliefs and values. I had found the meaning my life had been missing, but I wondered: “Now what am I supposed to do?” I was searching for my purpose, and I wanted a roadmap for where to go from there.

A year later, four friends and I drove from Orlando to another Promise Keepers event on the National Mall in Washington DC. Which was where one of the more mysterious and interesting miracles occurred.  

As dawn turned into morning, we marveled at almost a million people gathered around our blankets on the grass. We chatted with some, and each had their own story of what had led them to that place and time.   

At one point in the event, the speaker asked if everyone in the crowd would pair up with someone of another ethnicity for a few minutes. Which is when Robert appeared.

I didn’t know where he came from; he was just there. After a day around the same people, we had become familiar with those near us, and I didn’t recall having seen Robert. He was an older, wise-looking black man who came right up to me—as if we were supposed to meet.

I told him I sensed I was being called to some cause, but I didn’t know what it was. I felt it involved helping people hurt by racial intolerance and exclusion. Perhaps it was a combination of my yearning for the values I had developed in the past few years around community and meaning.

Robert pulled a vial of olive oil from his pocket and asked if he could anoint me with it. That had never happened before, but it felt both strange and somehow right, so I agreed. He blessed me and prayed I would find my purpose. Afterwards, he disappeared, and I never saw him again. And life went on. 

A month later, I met with Larry, who ran an urban ministry called Frontline Outreach in one of the sketchier neighborhoods in Orlando. I was looking for a service project for my church adult group to work on and thought he might have some ideas.

Larry started talking about his vision for a Christmas event for the people in the neighborhood. He described a massive undertaking with hundreds of guests for an invitation, sit-down dinner with entertainment, a nursery for babies, greeters and table hosts, and lots and lots of presents for the kids.

Mentally, I turned him off partway through the conversation. Sure, that sounded great, but it would take a year to plan it, and Christmas was only weeks away. The nail in the coffin for that fantasy came when he said, “And we need a famous speaker who will attract people to come. Someone like Dr. J!”

Julius Irving (aka “Dr. J”) was one of the most well-known basketball players in the world. He was the “Michael Jordan” of the 70s and 80s and had been named to the Basketball Hall of Fame a few years earlier. “Yeah, right,” I thought. “You and a million other organizations would love to have Dr. J come speak.” I found a way to politely excuse myself and left.

The next day, Julius Irving sat down next to me on an airplane. (“To be continued …”)

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” (Mother Teresa)