You are what you think. But do you ever think about how you think? Because you should.
The good news is that we can improve how we think. We can learn to make better choices, deal with negative emotions, and enhance our perspective. We can even improve the brain itself (what doctors call “neuroplasticity”).
We are designed as holistic beings with integrated functions that—correctly operated—contribute to our mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and personal well-being. For example, we are asked to, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength,” and we should seek to live our lives that way as well.
Our heart is at the center of our integrated “wholeness,” and we should continually seek to understand it. But the mind is where we think and make choices, and it acts as the “control center” of how we operate. It is where we analyze and process information from our senses. The mind is the manifestations of perception and reason that take place within the brain.
“You are what you think all day long.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
But we all have negative thought patterns that act as chains holding us back from being our best. These “C-H-A-I-N-S” are: Compulsive Habits, Addictions, Idols, and Negative Self-talk, and they operate harmfully in our mind. Until we break them.
Neuroscience and personal development can help us improve habits—even compulsive ones—by changing how we think. In medicine and recovery, addiction is considered a thinking disease, referred to as a mental disorder by doctors and “stinkin thinkin” by those in recovery. Psychology shows that harmful thoughts can control us unless we do something about them.
In summary, it is clear and well-proven that we can live life better by learning how to manage our mind.
We can make life better one situation, one thought, one choice, and one step at a time. And we can learn to do that in three simple steps by not reacting impulsively, compulsively, or emotionally but practicing how to pause, evaluate, and choose.
Living efficiently and effectively is doing things smarter and more intentionally. It’s staying on track versus being hijacked by negative thoughts. It means managing our priorities, time, and resources wisely. And it starts by managing our mind.
“We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts, with our thoughts we make the world.” (Buddha)
What We Can Learn from Neuroscience
Dr. Caroline Leaf is a neuroscientist and communication pathologist specializing in cognitive neuropsychology. Since the 1980s, she has researched the mind. She was one of the first to study how the brain changes (neuroplasticity) with directed mind input and has written many books including Switch On Your Brain: The Key to Peak Happiness, Thinking, and Health.
“Our thoughts, imagination, and choices can change the structure and function of our brains on every level.” (Caroline Leaf)
Dr. Leaf developed what she calls the Neurocycle process, which uses 5 steps to help people manage their thoughts in a healthy manner. She advises doing this for 15-to-45 minutes daily for 9 weeks, which is time to direct the neuroplasticity of the brain and rewire it to build healthy new habits that impact our thinking and behavior. Those 5 steps look like this:
- Become aware of warning signals or triggers: emotions, behaviors, and physical signs.
- Reflect on what these mean by actively thinking about why and how they affect us.
- Write down what we are processing to help us get to the root cause of the issues.
- Recheck what we have written down to gain more perspective on what is going on.
- Create an active reach, which is a statement or action to anchor us to this thinking.
“You cannot control the events or circumstances of your life, but you can control your reactions.” (Caroline Leaf)
This is not part of Dr. Leaf’s teachings, but a simple, in-the-moment three-step version of that approach can be envisioned and utilized as: “Pause, Evaluate, Choose.” While we may need more intensive work to change deep-set ways of thinking, we can make progress one day and one choice at a time by pausing to evaluate situations and then choosing thoughtfully.
Dr. Leaf’s mind management techniques aim to make us more aware of our thoughts. The mind is constantly working, and toxic thoughts inevitably arise. She urges us to step back and become a “thought detective” to deal with toxic thoughts. We do that by focusing our attention on the controllable aspects of how we think, feel, and respond to those negative thoughts.
“The process of thinking and choosing is the most powerful thing in the universe after God, and it is a phenomenal gift from God to be treasured and used properly.” (Caroline Leaf)
Many issues, including behavioral health problems, may require a cross-discipline approach to get better, but dealing with the mental aspects is normally part of a healthy solution. Below is a story that shows the break-through potential of learning to manage our mind. This version of the story is paraphrased from Dr. Leaf’s words on a podcast in May of 2021.
“One of my first subjects was a young girl of 16. She was an average student, and she had a terrible car accident and was in a coma. Back in the eighties, if you were in a coma for longer than eight hours, your relatives were told that you were basically brain dead. The doctors said this girl was now a vegetable. But she fought back and, after two weeks, she came around.
Later, she became frustrated because her peer group were going into 12th grade, and she could barely cope on a second-grade level. So, her parents contacted me. Fast forward eight months: she caught up from second grade to 12th grade. She not only did that but went on to become a math genius. She was evidence that with deliberate, intentional development of the mind, the brain can be changed. That’s neuroplasticity, and you can direct the neuroplasticity of your brain.”
“Research shows that 75 to 98 percent of mental, physical, and behavioral illness comes from one’s thought life. You are not a victim. You can control your reactions. You do have a choice.” (Caroline Leaf)
Learning How to Pause, Evaluate, Choose
We can become more intentional in how we manage our mind by learning to pause and evaluate situations we face in order to make thoughtful choices. This is one of the most powerful—yet simple—concepts that we can adopt to live life better.
Pause: Increase our awareness
One of the most useful tools from recovery, and one that is also embraced in psychology, personal development, relationship-building, and even business, is called, “The power of the pause.”
Sometimes, a critical situation or our mental outlook can be improved simply by stopping to interrupt what is going on, perhaps for a moment or sometimes longer. Step back, take a breath, and calm down. Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of this approach. As basic as this may sound, it can change our mood, improve our choices, and enhance our relationships.
During that pause, we seek to become more aware of what is really going on and observe any emotions, triggers, or temptations that may be influencing us. We gather information that can inform the choice we are about to make. This simple pause has the potential to change everything.
“I think, therefore I am.” (Rene Descartes)
Evaluate: Assess what is going on
During the pause, we can examine what our heart and soul tell us: “Which choice aligns to my values? Is there a right and wrong answer? Is God telling me to let this go or take some action?”
It’s fine to take into account feelings and intuition. But emotions should be seen as merely “indicator lights” to be noticed, and intuition as an input to be considered. We can also examine the context and environment of what is going on: “What does this really mean? What do I see when I examine my motives? What is the root cause of why I am feeling the way I do?”
Ideally, we want to consider the big picture in terms of longer-term consequences and how our choice affects other people. Then, evaluate the options and weigh the who, what, when, where, and how of each one so we understand what is involved.
In many daily situations, this can take place in seconds. In other circumstances, it can take longer. Occasionally, we may postpone making a choice by deciding that more evaluation is needed.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2)
Choose: Decide on a next right step
A next right step means making an intentional choice that leads to a positive action. Sometimes this could be to do nothing as a conscious choice, and doing nothing can be a good or a bad decision depending on the situation. But we want to avoid procrastinating or putting off decisions that are better made now. Which is most of them.
Our decision may be a commitment to a course we will take or simply an action to get us started. This applies to any choice, including the biggest ones we face in life. Because, whether we realize it or not, most things in life involve making a choice, and this includes life-altering decisions on things like accepting faith, choosing to love, and adopting a purpose.
It’s always our choice to take the first small step forward. And, many times, all that is needed to start living life better is to take the next right step. Then, to do that again.
“It is so important to understand that we are all making choices all the time, even when we choose not to choose, we have still made a choice. It is our choices that determine our experiences.” (Dr. Bobbie Stevens)
10 Ways to Manage Our Mind in Real Life
Mind management is a critical skill, and it is so flexible that it can be used in many life situations. To help us learn how it fits in our world, let’s practice some ways we can “Pause, Evaluate, Choose.”
1. Rewire our brain: Pause to become aware, evaluate by reflecting and writing, choose a positive affirmation or action.
“I’ve got a little voice that speaks to me sometimes, and it always whispers the same dark insult: ‘That was stupid, and everybody knows it.’ It’s been with me since elementary school, so it would be worth it to invest the time to do something about it, and that means making a commitment to practice managing my mind around that thought for 60 days.”
2. Think holistically: Pause to check our heart, evaluate what our soul is saying, choose thoughtfully and intentionally.
“The job offer paid a lot, but it didn’t line up with my values. I prayed about it, and it still didn’t feel right deep inside. I thought about it a while longer and then called them back and turned the job down.”
3. Improve our perspective: Pause and notice our mood, evaluate why we feel that way, choose to shift our mindset.
“Sometimes I find myself feeling a little down, so I examine why I’m thinking that way and consider the positive aspects of my situation. Then, I decide to let those bad feelings go, and I choose to think optimistically instead.”
4. Choose gratefulness: Pause to focus on my blessings, evaluate reasons I should be thankful, choose to feel grateful.
“I want to be a positive person, so I try to be on the lookout for small blessings and tiny treasures that come along during the day, and I choose to enjoy those blessings when I do. I’m getting into the habit of choosing gratefulness.”
5. Examine our emotions: Pause versus reacting to feelings, evaluate emotions as indicator lights, choose rationally.
“Sometimes my emotions can get the best of me, so I’ve started being on the lookout for them. I don’t ignore them because they might mean something, but I don’t let them control me either. I try to understand what may be causing them, and then I calmly go about making a good choice.”
6. Replace negative thoughts: Pause to recognize “lies,” evaluate where they’re from, choose to believe God’s promises.
“I have negative thoughts that sneak around in the darkness of my subconscious. But when I turn the light of God’s Word on them and believe his promises, those thoughts lose their power, and I can think about something positive instead.”
7. Cope with anxiety: Pause to notice the stress, evaluate the reasons, choose a coping mechanism that works for me.
“I tend to worry a lot, but I have become intentional about dealing with it. I pause and choose a good way to cope. For me, it’s often to take a short walk or pray for a few minutes, and I always feel better.”
8. Deal with temptation: Pause to see the warning signs, evaluate the triggers affecting me, choose to walk (run) away.
“I’ve noticed that when I’m down, I feel like drinking to forget about what’s bothering me. But I’ve learned the things that make me feel depressed or anxious, and that gives me a head start on cutting them off. Then, I can make an urgent and deliberate choice to drive past the liquor store, put down the glass, or call someone to talk about it.”
9. Manage our time: Pause to recognize any distractions, evaluate the value of being productive, choose to stay focused.
“I can get distracted by social media and keep procrastinating rather than working on something I should be doing, but I’m practicing catching distractions earlier and reminding myself of the longer-term rewards so I can stay focused.”
10. Make thoughtful choices: Pause to interrupt impulsive thinking, evaluate options, choose one with the most benefits.
“When my feelings are hurt, I want to take a pill to feel better. And that’s what I used to normally do. But I’ve found out that I can just say, ‘Stop!’ I may still feel like doing it, but that gives me a moment to think about all the reasons why it’s a bad idea and how it will make things worse rather than better. And then I can thoughtfully choose to do something else.”
“Therefore, understanding the role that choices play in defining your life is the most important thing to learn if you want to fully develop the life you have been given.” (Michael Nelson)
We are what we think, but we can learn to manage our mind to think better. It will take a little time, but it’s worth it. We can do it by practicing how we “Pause, Evaluate, Choose” during the life situations that happen in our daily world.
It will take practice, because we all have negative and ineffective ways of thinking that have been with us most of our lives. But we don’t have to remain a prisoner of those thought patterns, and we can find freedom from those chains.
By learning how to manage our mind, we can pause and evaluate situations and then make more thoughtful choices. One thought—one choice—at a time, we can live life better.
After hearing all that, what do you think?
Question: What is one negative pattern of thinking that happens a good bit with you?
Next Right Step: The next time you notice that negative thought: Pause, Evaluate, Choose.
