You sometimes feel insecure, at least in some areas. How do I know? Because you’re human.
But did you ever wonder how to be more confident?
Being confident has many advantages. It affects how we present ourselves to the world and how well, or how badly, we handle many situations. It is one of the biggest factors affecting our overall quality of life. Conversely, being insecure is the root cause of issues we carry for years.
What is confidence? It is the belief that we can do something well, or the feeling of being certain that something will happen or is true. As with many things in life, in excess, confidence can be a bad thing, but the right type of confidence is very good.
“Calm self-confidence is as far from conceit as the desire to earn a decent living is remote from greed.” (Channing Pollock)
I have a memory from fifth grade recess. When you hear it, you may think it trivial. Why would he remember something like that after so many years? But that recollection–of a mere thought–is still clear to me after almost five decades. In fact, it partially defines me.
We were playing kickball on the playground. I had just kicked a homerun, and my team was happily congratulating me. But, inside, what I was thinking was, “I’m not good enough at kickball, and I’m just fooling everybody.”
Many people have a different inner life than what they show on the outside. Even though they seem confident, their inner world is beset with insecurities. Whether we realize it or not, each of us fills in this sentence in a deeply personal way: “I’m not _______ enough.”
Oddly, some people talk about self-confidence like it’s a bad thing. I think some religious people react to the word “self” and decide that confidence must be the opposite of humility, but that is not the case. You can be humble and confident at the same time.
How to Be More Confident
There are a number of elements that make up confidence. By working on these areas, you can be more confident, and you can let go of some of those insecurities you have carried all your life.
- Practical wisdom – There are pragmatic steps we can take on a daily basis to live life more effectively. That is what the book STEPS: A Daily Journey to a Better Life is all about.
“Confidence comes from discipline and training.” (Robert Kiyosaki)
- Personal resilience – If you let go of your mistakes, surrender your weak areas, and become vulnerable enough to address them in a positive way, your life will take a whole new trajectory. This begins when you accept one fundamental truth: You (yes, you) are worthy.
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” (Brene Brown)
- Humble swagger – God designed you with strengths and talents that are yours alone, and he wants you to embrace being who you are with both inner confidence and outward humility.
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.” (Norman Vincent Peale)
- Positive outlook – Every day you make choices, consciously or unconsciously, about whether you will manage your thoughts or let them control your feelings about the future. When you pause to count your blessings, the good things about your life, it helps you form a positive view of what is to come.
“Confidence isn’t optimism or pessimism, and it’s not a character attribute. It’s the expectation of a positive outcome.” (Rosabeth Moss Kanter)
- Faith in the future – Confidence comes from knowledge and faith. The good news is that we have been given the knowledge of how life is meant to work, and we can develop the faith that God is in control of our lives.
“He who has faith has… an inward reservoir of courage, hope, confidence, calmness, and assuring trust that all will come out well – even though to the world it may appear to come out most badly.” (B. C. Forbes)
You can become more confident by declaring, and truly accepting, that you are worthy. This comes from a healthy appreciation of how God made you and a firm faith that he is in control.
You then know what you can do because you are confident of what God can do. The past is not a distraction, and the future is no longer a concern.
By learning how to be more confident, you can improve your life substantially.
And I say that with the utmost confidence.
Question: Do you feel you currently have a healthy level of confidence?
Action: Read the book STEPS for practical wisdom to help you be more confident.