Wouldn’t it be great if there were practical resources to help teenagers get prepared for real life?
When John was a teenager, he was focused mostly on playing sports, trying to impress girls, and having a good time. Nothing wrong with those things in the right balance, but he wasn’t thinking much about the choices he was making along the way, and the upcoming weekend was about as long-term as his thinking ever got.
John had friends he enjoyed doing things with, but he felt a little insecure getting to know girls and trying to fit in with the kids in the cool crowd. Sometimes, he tried to fake it to impress people in those situations, and that became a habit he held onto as he got older. Inside, he just wanted to feel connected, calm, and cool rather than anxious.
Early in high school, he was with some guys one night who started drinking, and he wanted to fit in, so he gave it a try. Over the next few years, alcohol became his way of coping with situations where he wanted to relax or let go a bit. He swore he would never drive drunk, a commitment that lasted less than a year. At the time, he had no idea that he would become an alcoholic for the next thirty years.
In the story above, John is a real person: me.
Drinking became part of how I lived for three decades, a crutch I relied on in many situations. Alcohol helped me feel better for a while, until I felt worse. Over the years, I drove impaired more times than I can remember. I had a few accidents and got a DUI, but it is only through God’s grace that I didn’t hurt or kill someone along the way.
I didn’t know it at the time, but I hadn’t been prepared for the teenage years. I wasn’t self-aware, and I misunderstood the importance of how I connected with others. There were things about real life I needed education on, and I wasn’t sure what steps to take along the way.
Now, I have spent many years studying, writing, and speaking on how people can improve their lives. That passion led to the founding of STEPS, a nonprofit ministry that offers practical resources to help people live life better. After years of research, we identified 5 steps called “PACES for Teenagers” that can help young people deal with real life effectively. This article is on being prepared for the teenage years.
Live each day on purpose
What would it look like if you did everything on purpose? Often, we react emotionally and make impulsive or random choices. Think what would happen if you lived intentionally rather than being a victim of circumstances. Your life would get better, one step at a time.
- Be more intentional – Do you want your life to get better? What if you had an intentional mindset and fixed issues when they’re small before they turn into big problems? Think of an area such as school or friends and start making more thoughtful choices in that area.
- Set small daily goals – You can start small and make a big difference in your life over time. Each morning, pick one thing you want to get done that day and what to do about it, like starting on a project. Later, you’ll look back and be amazed by how far you’ve come.
- Celebrate successes – When you make a thoughtful choice that turns out well, pause to enjoy the progress you made. Congratulate yourself! When choices don’t turn out so great, give yourself a break, count it as a learning experience, and move on.
Be proactive building habits
The “future you” in six months, next year, and three years will be made up of who you are now plus the things you allow in your life—good or bad. Think about how you can put positive habits in place to make good investments in these key areas of your life:
- Encourage positive thoughts – The thoughts we dwell on alter the structure of our brain and become habits! This is “neuroplasticity,” and you can use that power to improve your life. Encourage positive thoughts and discourage negative ones, then do that over and over.
- Prioritize what you learn – You can get better at anything you are willing to focus on. Pick an area you’re interested in that can make your life better and spend time learning about it. Start by finding a YouTube video of someone who knows what they’re talking about.
- Hang around good people – Our character and behavior change over time, and part of that comes from the people we spend time with. Pick three people with qualities you admire and start hanging out with them more. You’ll enjoy having more positivity in your life!
Accept facts about substances
Nobody controls you, and you will make your own choices in life. The least you can do is understand the facts involved in those decisions. Because substances like alcohol and other drugs are everywhere these days, it’s helpful to know these facts about them:
- Always avoid impaired driving – Alcohol is a depressant drug that slows the activity of the brain and nervous system. That isn’t opinion, it’s fact. This slows reaction time, reduces concentration, and creates poor judgment. If you’re in a car that is going 60 miles per hour, it travels 88 feet every second. A brief delay in reaction time is enough to lead to accidents, injuries, and deaths.
- Beware dangers of fentanyl – Fentanyl is an opiod drug 50 times more powerful than heroin, and it only takes a few grains to kill you. It is often mixed into other drugs and taken by people without knowing it. Fentanyl is the leading cause of death starting at age 18.
- Know how addiction works – 90% of people with addiction issues start using before age 18. In the teenage years, the human brain is more prone to addiction, but every year you delay using decreases the risk of a problem. Mind-altering drugs change the chemistry and structure of the brain, and the damage becomes built into those nerves, leading us toward addiction.
Next Right Steps: See the second article in this series: “Teenagers Can Move in the Right Direction by Developing Their Awareness.”
