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Addictions are like a car crash. Some mishaps may be minor, but other times they’re serious, and sometimes fatal.
They can harm or kill the driver and hurt anyone else along for the ride. The good news is that, with the right driving techniques, we can be trained on how to avoid a crash.
In other words, we can learn how to prevent addiction.
Car accidents happen frequently these days, but there are things we can learn to avoid them. Such as, when we get into a spin, to turn into the skid rather than doing nothing. And a second technique is to look where we want to go rather than stare where our negative momentum is taking us, which is what we do when we are pessimistic or dwell in hopelessness.
Some crashes happen suddenly, but this article is about a different kind of disaster that may take months or even years to play out. We will learn 10 stages in the downward journey toward addiction. Which gives us 10 opportunities to detect the impending danger, and 10 chances to steer into the skid and prevent it.
Life Happens, and it’s Not All Good
Sometimes, life doesn’t go how we want, and we don’t handle it well. To live in a healthy manner, we must be able to deal with life when things go wrong. We need a healthy perspective. If we learn to turn into the skid (face our problems) and look where we want to go (not toward the crash) we can not only get through, we can get better. And we can live that way.
Stage 1. Life happens. We face a trial in our lives. Or insecurity, stress, or depression come along. Perhaps our quest for pleasure just doesn’t work or things do not turn out how we dreamed. All of that is part of life.
What to Do: Work on adopting a more balanced and generally positive perspective that equips us to deal with negative circumstances and feelings. Don’t run away from problems; steer into the skid and learn to deal with how life happens. Treat this realization as a wake-up call and become intentional about developing a resilient and healthy lifestyle.
We Allow “Stinking Thinking” to Slowly Set In
Without noticing, our thought patterns gradually become less healthy and more toxic. In recovery, that’s called “Stinking Thinking.” We become increasingly self-absorbed and allow our emotions to take over. We correct this by finding our why—the huge benefits of positive thinking. This is how we look in the direction we want to go rather than obsessing on problems.
Stage 2. Self-pity, worry, and self-directed thoughts enter our minds more often and we allow them to stay there.
What to Do: Instead of becoming harmfully self-absorbed, increase our focus on the good things, God, and others. Count our blessings often. Instead of staring into the gloom, turn our gaze to where we want to go in life and accept God’s grace.
Stage 3. Impulsivity increases. We start doing things just because they make us feel better, at least for a little while. We stop thinking activities through or contemplating the consequences of our choices.
What to Do: Face our issues and “count the cost” of our actions. Imagine our behavior is being recorded and envision future consequences by “playing the tape through” to the end to anticipate what will result from our choices.
Stage 4. Rationalization of our choices becomes our self-defense mechanism to avoid facing problems head on.
What to Do: Practice ignoring the self-lies we all tell ourselves and then practice it some more. Be real and stop deluding ourselves. Go to a quiet place and carefully think through what’s really at stake with the decisions we are making.
We Avoid Getting Help, and the Danger Escalates
We allow the darkness of shame we feel about our actions and ourselves to envelope us and do the opposite of what we should. Rather than turn into the skid and look where we want to go, we hide from dealing with our issues and obsess on where we are heading. And when all seems dark, we hide even more and do whatever we can to dull the pain.
Stage 5. Isolation becomes our self-defense against the perceived hurts or judgments of others and the pain of facing our issues, and we avoid people in order to avoid dealing with our behavior.
What to Do: We must fight the compulsion to hide from our problems and reach out to others instead. It is critical that we talk to someone we can be open and vulnerable with and, ideally, join a recovery or support group. We must establish a support structure and get some encouragement and accountability into our lives. And that can make all the difference!
Stage 6. Denial becomes ingrained as we ignore our issues and shift blame away from ourselves.
What to Do: We are in increasing danger if we keep blindly numbing the pain. We must summon the courage and humility to talk to someone and get some help. Otherwise, unless God or another person intervenes, a crash is becoming more likely.
We Make Unhealthy Changes in Our Lifestyle
With our self-defense mechanisms weakened by negative thinking patterns, we no longer know what to do to stop the skid. We adjust our habits in ways that ingrain our compulsive behaviors. We turn to things other than God to address our issues. In our distorted thinking, we no longer see our substance or behavior of choice as a problem—we think it’s the solution!
Stage 7. Temptation becomes harder to resist, and we find ourselves giving in more often.
What to Do: Become aware of our triggers, which are the circumstances that lead us into temptation. Develop and practice ways to interrupt that behavior before we take the next step. When we feel tempted, pause to pray for help early and often.
Stage 8. Procrastination becomes a habit as we put off any first steps on working on our issue.
What to Do: Make a conscious choice to take a positive step, even a very small one. Each time we find ourselves avoiding what we know we ought to do, simplify the challenge and focus only on taking the next right step.
Stage 9. Compulsion becomes more ingrained, and we give less consideration to bad habits we are developing.
What to Do: Personal will power is not enough anymore; we need help! Unless we allow God into our lives and into the situation and surrender our will to him, we are heading for a crash.
We Crash, and Addiction Sets In
In a crash, the driver is not the only one harmed; the people with them are as well. Once in addiction, it will take a serious life-change to get better, but sometimes we need to hit bottom before we become willing to turn things around. For many of us, hitting that bottom is the best thing that could happen if it forces us to start getting help and taking positive steps.
Stage 10. Addiction, or relapse, catches up with us, and we crash.
What to Do: Going into a recovery or treatment program is now likely a necessity to get our life back together. And we must pray for God to help us along that spiritual journey back to wellness.
Addiction is a disease and, without a vaccine, we will continue to get sick over and over. The behaviors of addiction—the escalation of our compulsive, harmful habits—are a crash waiting to happen.
Unless we take corrective action. And the earlier the better.
Question: Pick a negative behavior in your life; in which of the 10 stages above are you now?
Action: Read the third and final article in this series here: “How to Prevent Addiction (Part 3).”
