They are some of the most tragic statements a Mom or Dad can make:
“We thought substance abuse only happened to other people.”
“We didn’t think our kid’s problems were that serious or dangerous.”
“We couldn’t communicate with them once they became teenagers.”
“We didn’t know what to do to help them when they were struggling.”
“We should have done something sooner, but we waited too late.”
But there is good news, because every one of those statements is preventable!
Below are 10 quick ways parents can help their teenagers remain happy and safe during the tumultuous teenage years. Some of these steps will fit every situation, so pick the ones that will be most useful for your family and take the next right steps right away.
These 10 ways pull from the insights found in the PACES for Parents online learning center for each of the 5 areas of Preparation, Awareness, Connection, Education, and Steps. All resources specifically mentioned in this article are available for free.
Preparation
1. NOW: Pause to carefully consider if you have prepared your kids to deal with the risks and temptations they will face in the pre-teen and teenage years. Even if you don’t think it likely (you may be wrong), you need to prepare them for dangers they may face.
- Substance abuse, mental health issues, and suicide can happen in any family. Including yours. Believing your kids are immune from these dangers is a risky and naive gamble to take. Instead, commit to becoming more intentional in your preparation.
2. SOON: In PACES for Parents, click on “Get Resources” and then on the Preparation section. Watch the 15-minute video on “10 Things You Need to Know About Substance Abuse” and think about what would be most helpful in your family situation.
- From that video, pick 1 of those 10 things to focus on this week to get started becoming more prepared for the challenges of the teenage years. You will likely want to work on a number of those areas over time but start with at least 1 of them soon.
Awareness
3. NOW: Ask your kids how teenagers at school are involved with alcohol and drugs and what they think about that situation.
- Just listen and ask follow-up questions with zero judging, lecturing, or teaching involved in this particular conversation. Consider it a success if they share information with you and if you establish a foundation for future conversations.
4. SOON: Go to PACES for Parents at StepsProactiveParenting.com to the top of the page and click on the orange bar to take the quick 2-minute “Teenage Wellness Assessment.” It’s fast and easy, and those 10 questions will give you some good insights.
- Then, click on “Get Resources” and on the Awareness section to take a more complete “Teenage Addiction and Substance Abuse Assessment.” This tool will help you evaluate in more detail how your son or daughter is doing and what areas to focus on.
Connection
5. NOW: Think of a person or organization that might be helpful for you or your kids to talk to or learn from. Ensure that neither of you is isolating, hiding a problem, or refusing to seek help out of embarrassment, because your family is more important than that.
- Call them this week to discuss your situation or schedule an appointment to talk. Use that as an exploratory conversation to see if there is a good fit and, if not, commit to check out at least 1 other person or organization in the next week.
6. SOON: In PACES for Parents, click on “Get Resources” and on the Connection section and go through the useful material on “Conversations Every Teenager Needs to Hear” to help you connect more deeply with your kids.
- You can read that material or listen to a podcast in several minutes and watch a 1-minute video summary. Then, pick 1 of those important topics you will talk to your kids about this week.
Education
7. NOW: Insist on having a safety talk with your kids, even if they act like they don’t want to or need to.
- There are very real dangers out there that can affect even “good kids.” Two situations to include are being in the car with someone driving under the influence and the fact that any pill they are given could conceivably be laced with deadly fentanyl.
8. SOON: In the Education section of PACES for Parents, watch the 13-minute video on “10 Mistakes Parents Make and How Not To.”
- Pick 1 of those 10 mistakes discussed on the video that you will work on to encourage the positive behavior mentioned. Then, either commit to the example action that is included or pick an appropriate action you choose.
Steps
9. NOW: Thinking of one of your kids in particular, come up with something you could do that might benefit them in each of these areas: emotionally, socially, spiritually, and personally. Then, do the same thing for each of your other kids.
- Think about each of your kids individually so you can focus on their specific situation, issues, and opportunities. They are different from each other in their needs and personalities, and different parenting steps may be helpful with each one of them.
10. SOON: Commit to a schedule to use PACES for Parents resources to build an overall parenting plan. Start by clicking on “Get Resources” and then on the Steps section and watch the video on “The Proactive Parenting Plan.”
- Parenting is one of the most important roles you will play in your life. You are a strong influence on your kids whether they say so or not, and 80% of teens say their parents are the biggest influence on their decisions about drinking.
The PACES for Parents online learning center at StepsProactiveParenting.com provides simple, effective resources for parents to help their teenagers remain happy and healthy and protect them from substance abuse.
Parents can use these flexible resources in the convenience and confidentiality of their home. The 5 areas in PACES for Parents help Moms and Dads become more prepared, aware, connected, and educated so they can take the right steps to help their kids not only survive but thrive during the sometimes-dangerous teenage years.
With these 10 quick ways to help their teenagers and useful resources readily available, hopefully very few parents will need to make statements like those at the start of this article. Because many of the tragedies behind those comments are preventable.
Help other families as well by sharing this article. Make a difference and join the movement to help prevent teenage addiction.
Starting today.
Question: Which of the 10 ways listed above is most appropriate for your family?
Action: Within the next 24 hours, take at least one step in the area you chose.
