How To Find the Meaning of Life – Part 2
My 2 year old son was terrified, frozen in place. My heart ached for him, but I stayed where I was.
At first, he seemed unwilling—unable—to move. But he forced himself to take a step, and another, lurching robotically toward his fear. The last step was the hardest. He hesitated … and took the leap.
That step changed everything for him, and I celebrated his victory.
We had recently moved to Orlando, and our new house had a pool just outside the sliding doors from our family room. Learning to swim was for safety as well as fun, but we had not been able to coax our son into the pool. Even that young, he had shown he wanted to make decisions his way in his timing.
So, we called Ginny. She was famous around the neighborhood for helping young kids get comfortable in the water. In just one lesson, our son transformed from a wary observer watching his brother splash around into a bold explorer of his new world.
Our older son had learned to swim differently. Risk-taking seemed part of his DNA, and he expanded his aquatic horizons largely on his own. Now, both boys became comfortable going deeper and deeper in the pool as they joyfully played together.
Ginny told us every kid has his own way of learning to swim. Some fight it every step of the way, coming up with a list of reasons not to venture into the water. A few never get in the pool. But other kids jump right in, sometimes going straight to the deep end.
My son chose to obey Ginny as she encouraged him into the pool. He didn’t want to do it, and he was scared. Perhaps it was the desire for something better than being an observer. But he did the right thing, and it took courage. And that changed everything.
The deeper meaning of the story …
Life works the same way with grownups.
When facing something new, like seeking answers to life’s big questions, many of us remain wary observers our entire lives. Others fight the change or go deeper slowly. Some jump right in.
Life is more than hanging out in the shallow end.
Trying to find meaning in life and moving closer to God may seem scary. We may be wary of change, but it doesn’t have to be hard. It’s not complicated, and we don’t need to know all the answers. There aren’t qualifications; any of us can take that journey.
Because there are steps we can take to find the meaning of life. We do it by becoming intentional about thinking more deeply.
“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life.” (Robert Louis Stevenson)
Becoming Intentional About Living a Life with Meaning
Each of us is at a different place along our journey, but there is good news: Our life can get better.
This blog series is on how to find the meaning of life, and I’ll be transparent in my goals for writing it. My heart’s desire and calling are to do what I can to help people improve their life, grow closer to God, and prevent issues such as anxiety, depression, or addiction from harming them and those they love.
One way to do that is to embrace universal and enduring values such as meaning, purpose, community, identity, and contribution and integrate them into how we view the world. But it can be hard to find the energy to dwell on such deep topics. We’re busy, and life can be demanding at times.
Distractions often keep us so preoccupied that we don’t slow down to think about the big picture. How are we supposed to see the forest if we can’t find our way out of the trees?
It was like that for me in my 30s. I had just gotten married, and a few years later a son came along, and then another. Work was consuming. At IBM, I was in Sales, which added pressure, especially as I moved into management. During that decade: we moved to a different city 3 times, my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and our house in Miami was destroyed by a hurricane.
And I had settled into a comfortable routine as a high-functioning alcoholic.
My reasons for drinking had evolved from when I was younger. I still drank for fun and never did anything when not at work that didn’t involve having a drink, or 3, or 6. I have an active mind, and alcohol was how I turned my brain off for a while so I could relax.
During that time, I didn’t think much about life’s deeper issues and questions. I had discovered and enjoyed more community when starting a family helped me see that life was not just about me anymore. But that was about it.
Looking back, I can see I had a worldview that guided my choices; I just didn’t know I had one. The concept of spirituality wasn’t part of my life. Subconsciously, without thinking about it, I felt that:
- I didn’t need God: I was successful with a good family. I lived an enjoyable life and felt I was in control of what was going on.
- I didn’t want God: Since I was a teenager, I had thought of people who went to church as “nerds,” unlike the cool and intellectual person I wanted to be. Plus, that God fellow might want me to change some of the habits I had developed.
- I didn’t know God: We didn’t go to church, I wasn’t reading spiritual material, and our friends never talked about religious stuff.
I was too busy, distracted, and self-absorbed to think about the meaning of life. The comfortable and safe boundaries of my world were: hanging out with my family, working hard so I would be admired, making money, having fun, and getting a good buzz.
I didn’t know we have a worldview that sets the direction for our life. Too often, it may be formed unconsciously from our short-term lifestyle choices. Or we can become intentional about it and think more deeply about things that matter.
This process is an adventure of discovery, and it doesn’t have to be hard. We can take steps to change our life for the better and find the meaning of life by doing 1 thing: “Ask the right questions.”
“Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.” (Voltaire)
What Are Examples of Worldviews People Choose?
We all have a worldview, even if we don’t know what it is.
It is composed of the values that guide our choices and the beliefs that influence how we think and feel and act. We build our worldview intentionally by thinking more deeply, or we unconsciously allow it to be formed as a byproduct of the lifestyle we lead.
There are some big questions we should ask as we build our worldview:
- Is life random, or does it have meaning?
- Is life all about me or about others as well?
- Is science everything, or is there also a Higher Power?
Here are 3 worldviews that people who do not believe in a Higher Power may support:
“Life is Meaningless” – Rejection of all moral and religious principles.
- Example: Don does whatever he feels like with no regard for anything else. Why not? This includes cheating on his taxes and ignoring spiritual matters. He thinks he’s better than people who believe in something bigger. Inside, however, he is scared of the nothingness of life but won’t admit it.
- Question: If life is meaningless, how will we feel as we approach the end of our life?
“It’s All About Me” – Pursuit of only pleasure or sensual self-indulgence.
- Example: Debbie loves anything fun or exciting, so she orients her life around those activities. She lives only in the moment and doesn’t think about the future or bigger matters. She has noticed that she often feels guilty after a night of partying, but she fixes that problem with a few drinks.
- Question: Is life so meaningless that having the most fun right now is all there is?
“Science is Everything” – Scientific laws account for every aspect of life.
- Example: Andy is a doctor who always thinks he is the smartest person on the room. He believes there is a pragmatic answer to every question under the sun. He knows enough science to quote high-level arguments for his points, but he avoids the deeper questions he can’t answer.
- Question: Since science proves the universe had a beginning, what caused that “Big Bang?”
Here are some answers we should all consider: “Life does have meaning, it’s not all about us, and the concepts of science and a Higher Power are complementary and not at odds with each other.”
“The kind of man who always thinks that he is right, that his opinions, his pronouncements, are the final word, when once exposed shows nothing there. But a wise man has much to learn without a loss of dignity.” (Sophocles)
How Do We Think More Deeply About a Higher Power?
The concept of a Higher Power forms the foundation of our worldview, whether we choose to place our faith in one or disregard the notion entirely. Our role is to ask good questions as we search for the truth:
Where does scientific evidence point us? – Over the last few decades, many atheist scientists have become uncomfortable as developments unfolded. It has been proven that the universe was created in what is called “The Big Bang,” but they don’t know how it started. It is also a fact that many attributes of the universe operate within such specific parameters that it is mathematically absurd to believe it happened by chance, so they coined the term “Intelligent Designer” as an awkward way to explain it.
What about the wonders of nature? – One day, it occurred to me how smart the rose bushes in our back yard are. They know how to take nutrients from the soil, absorb sunlight, go dormant in the winter, and emerge in the spring resplendent with beautiful flowers. Intellectually, it is not rational that this is random. Nor are other examples such as: the majesty of the universe, the wonder of a new-born baby, the complexity of the human body, the beauty of a sunset, and on and on and on.
How do we explain objective morality? – Where do concepts such as “right and wrong“ or “good versus evil” come from? People around the world innately understand murder is wrong and kindness is good. True objective morality cannot be defined without an external purpose or cause, which means there must be a transcendent source of those values. Unless God exists, all that is left is mere emotive opinions expressing a person’s feelings rather than such a universal and objective morality.
How does personal experience apply? – 87% of Americans say they believe in God according to a Gallup poll. I know hundreds who do. I believe in God as surely as I do in gravity and that the sun will rise tomorrow, and I have bet my life on that assurance. I don’t see faith as “my personal truth” I chose for convenience but as “the truth” selected in certainty, and I have seen proof in how God changed my life. I see evidence of God everywhere, and his existence and love are substantiated facts I know to be true.
By asking deeper questions, we can keep taking steps to find the meaning of life.
“No matter how much we try to run away from this thirst for the answer to life, for the meaning of life, the intensity only gets stronger and stronger. We cannot escape these spiritual hungers.” (Ravi Zacharias)
What Are Worldviews That Include a Higher Power?
We have been using the term “Higher Power” to represent the Intelligent Designer that created the universe. There’s nothing wrong with that thought process as long as we continue our search for truth to its conclusion with questions such as:
- Is truth anything we want, or is there universal truth?
- Can’t the concepts of God and science work together?
- What is God like, and what is our relationship to him?
Here are 3 types of worldviews demonstrating different points of view about God:
“Whatever Works for You” – No universal truths or objective reality.
- Example: Elizabeth believes whatever anyone chooses as “their truth” is what is true for them. She doesn’t wonder about how there could be multiple truths that disagree with each other. She is okay with the idea of there being a god as long as each person can design a god that fits their purposes.
- Question: Does it make sense that an all-powerful God would be anything we want him to be?
“Science is the Enemy of God” – Sees science as opposed to spirituality.
- Example: Albert is a fundamentalist Christian who thinks ideas based on science are anti-God. He hasn’t taken the time to study how scientific principles generally support rather than contradict the existence of God because he is uncomfortable with technical discussions he doesn’t understand.
- Question: If God created the world, isn’t it possible he created the scientific principles it runs on?
“A God of Grace and Truth” – Believes in the God represented in the Bible.
- Example: Mary knows she makes mistakes and is grateful God loves her unconditionally anyway. She thinks it logical that she doesn’t have answers to every question about her all-powerful Creator. She tries to please God out of her appreciation for her life both now and forever in heaven.
- Question: How do you think God wants you to treat people who don’t believe in God?
Here are answers we should consider: “God is our Creator, and he is the author of truth and inventor of science. He loves us and shows us grace, and he is where we find meaning in life.”
“The meaning of life. The wasted years of life. The poor choices of life. God answers the mess of life with one word: ‘grace.’” (Max Lucado)
How Do We Think More Deeply About God?
Below are some questions that people who want to learn more about God may ask:
Are there multiple gods? – Either there is a supreme being who created the universe, or there is not. Each of us must declare which of those options is truth. It is not rationale to believe there are multiple “Creators” who orchestrated our one universe.
Are all gods are the same? – Different religions have different definitions of their divine being. For example, the God of the Bible is described specifically in ways that preclude him being the same as the deity of any other group. It is not an option left open to us to declare, “Many religions say similar things about their god, so maybe all gods are the same.” On inspection, that cannot be true.
Can we choose our god? – Sometimes, we find ourselves evaluating God in terms of how well he fits our criteria for the type of god we want. But we don’t decide who God is or what he is like. After all, he is God, not us. If we think about it more deeply, it makes sense that the being who created us would not be subject to our individual whims on the type of god we prefer him to be.
We he lord, liar, or lunatic? – C. S. Lewis was an agnostic-turned-Christian and the author of over 30 books. He pointed out how Jesus clearly and publicly claimed to be God, and everyone knew it including both his followers and enemies. Therefore, it is not an alternative he left open that he was only a good man or a wise teacher. There are only 3 options we can conclude based on who Jesus claimed to be: He was a liar or a lunatic, or he was telling the truth and he was the Lord.
I hope you are excited about your spiritual journey. Before we move on, there is one more worldview we need to be aware of:
“I Don’t Think About It” – Too distracted to think about the meaning of life.
- Example: Bob is busy with work, family, and hobbies, and he doesn’t spend the energy to wonder about deeper and bigger issues. His parents weren’t believers, and he has a couple of habits he fears God might want him to change. He likes being in control and feels he doesn’t need God in his life.
- Question: If there is a chance an all-powerful God exists, isn’t it worth the time to learn about him?
Faith is a choice, a decision we make rather than an emotion we feel. Whether we choose to believe in God or not is the most important decision we ever make. It affects every aspect of our life, and it impacts the people we care about as well.
Our life is a story, and the meaning of the story comes from the Author who wrote it.
“I don’t know how to put this gently, but I’m trying to tackle the biggest question of all, which is the God question.” (Charlie Trotter)
Thinking Deeply About the Meaning of Life
Life is an adventure of discovery, and we keep taking steps by asking the right questions.
Our role is to think more deeply and become intentional about living a life with meaning rather than remaining an observer. Along the way, either unconsciously or thoughtfully, we choose the worldview we will follow. Which will it be?
- Life is random, there is no meaning, and it’s all about me.
- I’ll believe in a Higher Power if I can decide what he is like.
- There is a Creator, and I place my faith in the one true God.
We can find more peace, joy, and purpose than we thought possible before. The good news is that God is there to help us, and he loves us unconditionally.
The way we find the meaning of life is to form a relationship with him.
“Our obligation is to give meaning to life and in doing so to overcome the passive, indifferent life.” (Elie Wiesel)
Question: What is God like, and do you have a personal relationship with him?
Action: Click to continue this series with “How to Find the Meaning of Life – Part 3.”
