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Do you communicate effectively with your family? Do you ever hurt those closest to you? Do you want to have better family relationships?
If you are like most of us, you want to have good relationships but the way you communicate may not be as effective as it could be, and we all have blind spots that get in the way. When we hurt those close to us, it is often because we don’t communicate well enough. If we can correct the communication mistakes we make and add some positive techniques instead, our family relationships can greatly improve.
“I know, because I’ve been there. It doesn’t sound hard to control our tongue, so why wasn’t I able to do it? For years, I let criticism and control creep into how I spoke with my wife. I wasn’t aware this was going on, much less the damage it was causing to her. Much later, she uncovered the pain I had contributed to over the years. I was flabbergasted and remorseful but could not take back the hurt she had suffered. I have humbly admitted those mistakes and want to make positive changes in how I speak to her. That may not seem hard to do for some, but for me it is a habit I must work on every day.”
Good communication is critical in close family relationships. Most of us make mistakes, have blind spots in how we interact with others, and need to make some positive changes. Below are 10 ways to communicate more effectively and improve our family relationships:
1. Use the Golden Rule – Speak to other people as you would like them to speak to you. Choose to be kind, considerate, and thoughtful.
2. Watch your tone – A lot is conveyed in our tone, expressions, and body language so concentrate on non-verbal ways you communicate.
3. Control the tongue – Many of us make mistakes with our family when we do not control our tongue as much as we should. When you’re about to speak, pause and ask yourself if the next thing you are about to say will build the other person up. If not, consider not saying it.
4. Focus on clarity – Speak plainly and ensure they hear what you are really trying to say. Take responsibility for effective communications.
5. If all else fails, ask – It is fine to ask for clarification or confirm understanding and doing so shows you care about good communication.
6. Be a good listener – Realize that the most important part of a conversation is how you listen rather than what you say. Make eye contact and listen closely for understanding. When you feel like fixing, lecturing, or preaching, stop and choose to listen and ask questions instead.
7. Be real – Be open, honest, and transparent. When the other person sees genuineness and sincerity in your approach, they will generally want to hear what you are saying and will respond more favorably. Sometimes being vulnerable is the most effective way to connect.
8. Earn trust – Trust is critical in relationships. It is built with consistent actions over time, being honest, and doing what you say you will do.
9. Give other people a break – A great deal of anguish can be avoided by not taking every interaction so seriously. People make mistakes; when they do, most of the time you should give them the benefit of the doubt and simply move on. Don’t create drama unnecessarily.
10. Communicate without words – Sometimes feelings are best conveyed without any words at all. We can let our family members know how we feel through a look, touch, spending time together, acts of service, and other ways. Look for ways to let them know how you feel.
Do you communicate well with your family now? Are you sure? Because connecting effectively is harder than it seems. We all have blind spots, and we make mistakes. But we can keep getting better if we work at it, and we can improve our relationships one step at a time.
Next Right Steps: Pick 1 of the items above to work on this week. Next week, keep working on the same area or pick another.
