We walked out of the darkness of the tunnel into the ultra-bright lights of the football stadium. Mesmerized by the panorama of tens of thousands of fans, I didn’t know the next few hours would change my life.
The last few seasons had been good-but-not-great. Everybody seemed to think I was playing well, but I knew the grind of grades, fantasy of fame, and allure of alcohol had kept me from my best.
Coach had been patient as he drew me toward becoming the player he knew I could be. I could hear his voice in my head calming me down, but also revving me up for the game. In my heart, I knew I wouldn’t be here without him.
Now, my preparation over the last year would merge into the heat-of-battle improvisation of a game that would lead to either victory or defeat. In that moment, I realized that I wanted to win for Coach, my team, and the fans more than for myself. I now knew the game was bigger than just me.
That knowledge changed everything, bringing meaning to the struggle, win or lose.
I felt a calm come over me as I realized that all I could do was my best—one play at a time. I didn’t control the other players, the way the ball bounced, or the outcome. That was how the game was meant to be played.
That paradox struck me: Letting go made me want to play even harder.
Everything came into focus like never before, and I could see the events that had led me to this place and time. I was ready for that moment, and I was ready for the rest of the season.
Gametime.
“The two most important days in life are the day you are born and the day you discover the reason why.” (Mark Twain)
How It Actually Happened
That story is true (mostly), but it is also an allegory or parable for finding meaning in our life. The actual events in the fall of 1996 happened much like that, but I wasn’t in that stadium in Jacksonville, Florida for a sports event …
We walked out of the darkness of the tunnel into the ultra-bright lights of the football stadium. Mesmerized by the panorama of 55,000 people gathered for the Promise Keepers event, I didn’t know the next few hours would change my life.
The last few years had gone okay. Everybody seemed to think I had it all together, but I knew job pressures (unaddressed stress), desire for recognition (ego on appearances), and allure of alcohol (addiction) had kept me from being all that I was meant to be. Looking back, it seemed that God had been patient as he drew me toward becoming the man he knew I could be.
As the event went on, I could almost feel God calming me down, but I also felt a new excitement for the future. In my heart, I knew I wouldn’t be in that place without God guiding me along the way.
I had been reading books, talking to people, and praying on a personal search for truth for a year. But this was real life: Was I going to choose significance and meaning or retreat into what-could-have-been?
In that moment, it hit me that I wanted to live for God, my family, and other people more than for myself. I now knew that life was bigger than just me. That knowledge changed everything, bringing meaning to the struggle, whatever happened.
I felt a calm come over me as I realized that all I could do was make good choices—one day at a time. I didn’t control people, circumstances, or outcomes. That was how life was meant to be.
That paradox struck me: Letting go made me want to do my best.
Everything came into focus like never before, and I could see the milestones of my life that had led me to this place and time. I was nervous but excited and looking forward to what the future would bring.
It was time to take a step of faith and move on to a new way of living. That choice changed everything. It brought peace, joy, and purpose into my life that I had never felt before. I had found meaning.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” (Carl Bard)
Finding Meaning in the Journey
Finding meaning in our life doesn’t have to be hard. In fact, we are designed to have meaning. But it may involve asking some bigger and deeper questions such as:
- How can I have more peace, joy, and purpose in my life?
- Even if life is okay, why does it feel like something is missing?
- Why are we here on earth, and what is the meaning of our life?
- What is God like, and what should our relationship with him be?
- How do we find significance by being part of something bigger than us?
The good news is that we can find meaning if we look for it. When we discover the something that brings meaning to our life, it changes everything. There are lessons we can learn to help us along that journey:
We find meaning in something bigger than us – People can find meaning in a number of ways through commitment to faith, truth, wisdom, or a just cause. It happens when we give ourselves up to a bigger conviction that both transcends and includes our individual existence here on earth.
Meaning comes from God and serving others – The primary meaning of our personal story comes from the Author who wrote it: God. He also calls us to love and serve the people around us. We have a hole in our soul where meaning is meant to be. If we don’t put God there, we fill the hole with something else.
We can take steps to find meaning in our life – If we keep our eyes open, we can find meaning every day by observing the wonder all around us. We can take steps forward by thinking more deeply and becoming intentional about pursuing meaning, thoughtful evaluation as we search for the truth about life, and honest self-awareness.
“The most important (commandment) is, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (Jesus)
We can learn from the stories of others, so here is what the journey toward meaning was like for me:
My “Before” – During my early years, I didn’t think about spirituality much. But in my late 30s, I started investigating faith and learning about God. The good news was that I was open-minded; I felt that I was on a search for truth. I didn’t yet know that the truth would change everything.
We yearn for something – To know why we are here on earth, rather than struggling with fear or hopelessness. To feel there is a cause—a something—so big that we can gratefully surrender to it.
We have questions – “What is the meaning of my life, and what’s the point of it all? Why am I here?”
We face an epiphany – “God is real, he is good, and he is in control. And that changes everything.”
My “After” – My intellectual curiosity led me to learn more about God. My innate yearning for meaning made me want to be part of something real, something that was bigger than me. Getting to know people who believed in God proved that he was not only real, but that he changes lives. My spiritual growth was a journey, until it finally became a step—a choice—that changed everything.
Many books have been written on the meaning of life and about God, and this blog series is not the “do all and end all” view of that quest. But it will help us take thoughtful and practical steps to find more meaning in our life. And that can change everything.
“Finding meaning in your life is not a difficult thing, but it is harder than living a numb, fast-paced superficial life.” (Juanita Gomez)
We Learn from the Journeys of Others
We’re talking about some deep stuff here including the meaning of life and where God fits in the big picture of things. I always want to be transparent in how I write, and I feel that is especially important here.
My personal faith is important to me, and God plays a role in most areas of my life. Therefore, there was no way I could talk about the meaning of life without God being a big part of that discussion. And please know that when I mention God, I am referring to the God represented in the Bible.
My experiences in recovery showed me we can learn from stories of how other people have traveled through life. We all share many of the same experiences and challenges. I hope my personal stories are helpful, and I strive to be vulnerable and accurate, including about things that happened years ago. I do my best to be true to the events and real about the deeper meaning involved.
I believe that searching for truth will help us find meaning in life. The definition of “truth” is something that is accurate based on reality and fact. The concepts in this article are principles I commit my life to, though I fall short much of the time. I have literally bet my life on this truth, and I believe it is based on facts and not just feelings:
- My personal experiences over decades of my spiritual journey and the experiences of hundreds of people I know personally and many hundreds of millions of others.
- Over 25 years of study in areas including spirituality, philosophy, recovery, wellness, and science across many disciplines. I studied Engineering at Georgia Tech and was in business for 38 years, and I applied logic and reason to my spiritual journey.
- I studied in depth the beliefs of the Christian faith and read dozens of books written by experts from many backgrounds. My search for truth involved a rigorous investigation into the factual and historical accuracy of what Christians believe to be true.
- If you like, you can read a concise summary of the fact-based outcomes of my personal search for truth in a 4-part blog series that begins with an article titled “A Search for Truth – Part 1.”
We all have beliefs and values that guide how we see the world and how we experience life, whether we are conscious of them or not. My wish for you is that, at least for a little while, you are able to set aside the busy-ness and distractions of real life to dwell on the meaning behind your existence and the worldview you have developed along your journey.
How you handle your relationship with God is between him and you, and please know I mean the best when I write about spiritual matters. I care about your well-being even if we have never met. I try to present my views and universal principles in a way that leads with grace and love as well as a desire to represent the truth. I appreciate your understanding when I fall short of that goal.
I hope you enjoy the journey and your personal search for truth is a fruitful one.
“The unexamined life is not worth living.” (Socrates)
How to Take Steps Toward Meaning
We can all take steps to find meaning.
We will make more progress if we are intentional about thinking deeply about life, thoughtfully search for truth, and remain honest and self-aware in the process. We can enjoy an ongoing journey of discovery as we keep taking positive steps along the way. Key principles to consider along our journey include:
Deeper thinking: Become intentional about living a life with meaning. We all have blind spots in how we view the world. We permit distractions in our life such as negative thinking, ego, or addictions. We allow busy-ness, comfort, and pleasure to keep us preoccupied with the trivial. Our responsibility is to focus on what is truly important including how we can grow closer to God.
Next right step: Spend an hour thinking about the meaning of life and write down what comes to mind.
Thoughtful evaluation: Accept what we don’t know and search for truth. Sometimes, “We don’t know what we don’t know,” and we make progress when we recognize areas we know less about. Since we find meaning in things that are bigger than us, we won’t find all the answers. That’s okay if we search for the truth with our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Next right step: Write down 5 questions related to the meaning of life you are curious about.
Honest self-awareness: Seek to understand the root cause of the problem. It is an epiphany to recognize the cause of many of our problems is US! Humans are relentlessly focused on SELF in many forms: control, selfishness, insecurity, self-absorption, and pride. We are uncomfortable with change and build rationalizations so we can stay in control or keep doing what we want to do.
Next right step: Pick 1 form of SELF you struggle with and write down how that shows up in your life.
We can experience epiphanies and discover breakthroughs if we choose to think about big questions, search for truth, and become aware of our obsession with self. In the next few articles, we will talk about how we do those things to find more meaning in life.
Life is meant to be an adventure of learning and growth, and we can find more peace and joy along the way.
Are you willing to take the next step?
“Man: a being in search of meaning.” (Plato)
Question: What is 1 question you have about the meaning of life?
Action: Click to continue this series with “How to Find the Meaning of Life – Part 2.”
