HOW CAN I HELP MY KIDS FIND COMMUNITY AND BELONGING?
All of us need community, and this especially includes teenagers. Young people desperately want to fit in somewhere they feel they belong. Otherwise, they will look for connection—sometimes in unhealthy places—or turn to isolation instead. Parents can provide a sense of belonging in the family and model how their kids can develop healthy community with others as well.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” (Hebrews 10:24-25)
How can you help your kids find community and belonging?
Control your tongue (watch your words)
What you say to your kids greatly affects them: “The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” All of us have harmful blind spots in how we communicate, so seek out areas where you can improve.
Express unconditional love and support
A rule of thumb for connecting with your kids is to, “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Even when you set boundaries, your kids should always know you love them unconditionally, and they should trust you to always be there for them.
Have good talks and share your blessing
Your teenagers need to hear these things from you: they have value and a good future, it’s okay not to be okay sometimes, and they are responsible for their choices. You can also share God’s love by praying over them: “The Lord bless you and keep you.”
Here are other useful resources to help you build community with your kids:
- “What Every Teenager Needs to Hear”
- “How Parents Can Connect with Their Kids”
- “PACES: Steps to Becoming a Better Parent”
- “The Power of Blessing Our Kids”
Next Right Steps: Within the next week, find a quiet moment when you can look each one of your kids in the eye (individually) and say to them with true sincerity, “You are special, and you have a good future. I love you just the way you are, and I am very proud of you.”
