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Encouragement and Help for Alabama Moms

Pam has everything going for her. At least most of the time, and on the outside.

Everybody likes Pam. She’s friendly, kind, and fun to be around, and it’s genuine. When people talk to her, she really listens, but it’s more than that—she’s sincerely interested in what they have to say and what’s going on in their lives. Part of her personality might come from growing up in Alabama where being friendly is pretty much mandatory but with her, it’s real because she cares.

Pam enjoyed her college experience, and she has a good marriage with her husband Richard. She loves her kids Carson (17), Sophie (13), and Ethan (8), and she likes being a mom. She is thankful for their nice house in a Birmingham suburb and their comfortable finances.  

Pam has everything going for her. Except some of the time, and on the inside. What does that mean?

  • People see her as capable and competent, but she rarely feels she’s doing good enough, which she translates to, “I’m not good enough.”
  • Pam seems to be in a good mood when out with others but sometimes struggles with anxiety that makes her whole world seem dark.
  • She was raised in the church and her faith is sincere although it can waver when she’s struggling. At those times, God seems far away.   
  • Pam wants people to think her kids are perfect, but she worries if Carson is using drugs and if Sophie will grow out of her anxiety issues. She also wants to help prevent similar problems from affecting Ethan as he grows up. She hasn’t talked to anyone about what’s going on.

Pam loves being with her kids, but it seems like she’s crazy-busy too much of the time. Planning and arranging everything—well, maybe just 90% of everything—for the family, managing the household, and trying to do her best at her part-time job keep her exhausted.

It’s in her role as Mom where Pam experiences her greatest joys and most frustrating struggles. She would do almost anything to protect her kids and for them to be happy, but she wonders if she does too much for them and might be enabling their negative behavior at times.

Encouragement and Help for Pam

Pam does what she can to be a good Mom but sometimes wonders what she should change. She wishes she had resources to help her be:

  1. Prepared for the challenges of parenting so she can be proactive rather than distracted and reactive.
  2. Aware of her children’s issues with a balanced understanding of their needs versus being crazy-busy.
  3. Connected to her kids, especially to her teenagers, to have an even deeper relationship with them.
  4. Educated on how to be a great parent so she’s thoughtful instead of confused in tough situations.
  5. Intentional with a plan for steps to take rather than feeling frustrated and stuck some of the time.

Pam’s darkest feelings are shame when she doesn’t feel good enough to do it all, but there are some things she needs to hear: “It’s okay not to be okay sometimes, because we all have issues we struggle with. You don’t have to be a perfect parent. You can’t totally protect your kids, but they can still turn out fine. We all feel lost, lonely, and sad sometimes, but God loves you and is there with you every step of the way.”  

Mostly, Pam needs to know, “You don’t have to be Superwoman or Supermom—just do your best and keep taking the next right steps.”

In the story, Pam is not an actual person but a character intended to help us identify with challenges moms in Alabama—anywhere—may be facing. She’s a good person and a good mom who also struggles with some issues that bring her pain at times. Wouldn’t it be great if there were easy-to-use and confidential resources available that could help Pam be the best mom—and the best person—she can be?

There are, and Pam—meaning you or Alabama Moms you know—can start taking positive steps at the links below:

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