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We live in stressful times, and the data proves what many of us feel every day.
Gallup reported that 55% of Americans say they experience stress during much of the day, and the U.S. was one of the highest of 143 countries studied. And an earlier Gallup report said that 8 in 10 Americans are afflicted by stress either frequently or sometimes in their daily lives.
But internet searches for ways to relieve stress become confusing with lists of everything from aromatherapy to “be optimistic.” There are lots of ideas out there, but which ones are the best?
The Best Ways to Relieve Stress
This article describes 5 proven ways to relieve stress in your life. See these as tools you can use as needed, depending on which ones best fits your needs. The good news is that, given the right commitment and follow-through, they all work!
Each of them can help you increase your resilience, which is the capacity to not only deal with stress, but to transform that experience into positive growth. And one of the amazing things about resilience is that it can be learned, so you can get better at handling stress over time.
The tools are simple, yet powerful. Easy to understand, but useful for a lifetime. For many people, they have already been proven to work, and they are some of the best ways to relieve stress.
1. Reframe how we think about stress
Kelly McGonigal, health psychologist at Stanford University, went viral in a TED Talk video where she shared the results of a large-scale study of stress. The surprising outcome was that the biggest factor relating stress and health was whether people believed stress was harmful to them or not.
In other words, we can deal better with stress simply by how we think about it! We can learn to change our paradigm about stress and reframe it as a necessary and even positive part of our lives.
The secret is to think of stress not as an evil to be avoided but as a normal part of everyday living. We can train ourselves to treat each stressful situation as a trigger to take useful action, and therefore position stress as a catalyst for positive outcomes rather than being overwhelmed by it.
For example, reframe that new project we are worried about as an opportunity to learn. Or choose to see a stress-causing relationship as a chance to get to know someone—or ourselves—better.
We can do that with even more serious issues, by treating trials as an opportunity for personal transformation. Because tough situations are often when our most important growth takes place.
2. Let go of the stress of control
Stress is created in our mind, and it is often based on our flawed perceptions about control. But when we choose to let go of those faulty beliefs, our life can change for the better:
- Other people – Let go of our insatiable appetite for fixing people and our self-defeating fixation on what they think of us.
- Outcomes – Let go of ego, perfectionism, and unhealthy “busy-ness” or workaholism, and lessen our fear of the future by appreciating life one day at a time.
- Circumstances – Let go of anxiety and choose peace, even when things aren’t going how we want. And set aside unfair expectations of ourselves and accept that it’s okay not to be okay.
It is amazing how much anxiety we can avoid by letting go of our infatuation with control. We will need to exercise our self-awareness and practice new habits, but it can be done, and simply letting go is one of the best ways to relieve stress.
3. Utilize the positive coping cycle
We tend to react automatically, and normally negatively, to stressful situations. Instead, we can become more intentional about how we react to stress by following the positive coping cycle:
- Pause when stressed: Notice what stressors affect us and learn our early warning signs of stress.
- Evaluate the situation: When we feel stress coming on, suppress an impulsive or emotional response. Step away—literally if necessary—and examine the situation calmly rather than simply reacting.
- Choose to cope effectively: There are many coping mechanisms, and we can learn which work best for us. Favorites include breathing exercises, prayer, meditation, taking a walk, music, or drinking some water.
It may take practice, but we can learn to handle stressful situations more effectively. After a while, this can become a habit and, eventually, a new way of living.
4. Let other people help us
When most people feel stress, they keep it to themselves. They feel a stigma—real or perceived—that we aren’t supposed to have anxiety, and that expressing that emotion is a sign of weakness.
Instead, one of the best things we can do is to talk to somebody about it. Sometimes, just saying out loud what we are worried about can help. Rather than numbing ourselves with busy-ness or alcohol to handle stress, we can choose to be vulnerable with someone about what we are facing.
In her book Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says: “In our studies, anxiety and disconnection emerged as drivers of numbing in addition to shame. I believe we all numb our feelings. And numbing vulnerability is especially debilitating.”
Connecting to others is the key, and it starts with vulnerability.
5. Turn to God for help
I’ve had many stressful situations in my life, and some times that felt traumatic. And I’m being real with you to say that I don’t know how I would have gotten through them without God.
This doesn’t mean God chooses to swoop in and fix whatever is going on. But he is always there for us. He hears us when we cry out to him, he comforts us in our pain, and he helps us get through.
God is our lifeline for dealing with stress.
In summary, we are all going to feel stress at times. But it doesn’t have to debilitate us, and we can learn to handle it well. It will take practice, but it can work, and these 5 tools can help.
It starts with your decision to be more intentional on developing greater resilience in your life. Then, decide which of these ways to relieve stress fit your needs best, and get started. There are no magic answers, and you shouldn’t expect perfection. But you can get better, one step at a time.
Stress may be your daily companion now, but it doesn’t have to be that way in the future.
Question: Which of the 5 best ways to relieve stress seems most useful for your situation?
Action: Commit to use 1 of the tools for 30 days and keep a journal of the results.
