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Should You Be Worried About Your Teenager’s Safety?

Parenting is hard.

And when kids become teenagers, it gets even harder, because things change. Which means parents need to change too.

There’s a lot riding on how Moms and Dads make that transition. Sometimes, the safety of their kids. Because there are many things to worry about during the teenage years, and it helps to be prepared.

In this article, you’ll learn five reasons why you hopefully should not have to worry about your kid’s safety during those years. But you will also see ten reasons why you should.

Because the last thing you want is to look back on what has become a dangerous situation in your family and sorrowfully think, “We thought substance abuse only happened to other people.”

Should Parents Worry About Their Kids?

I don’t remember my parents worrying about me and things like drinking when I was a teenager. In retrospect, I wish they had.

At the time, it may have seemed there wasn’t much to be concerned about. We had a good family, and I was a good kid. In high school, I didn’t get into trouble and was Valedictorian and President of the Honor Society. Teenagers like that from families like that don’t have issues with drinking and drugs, right?

But in my teens, I began a drinking experiment that turned into an occasional pastime which evolved into a regular habit that became an addiction which haunted me for 30 years.

More times than I can count—or want to think about—I endangered myself, friends, family, and others by driving when I should not have. I believe it is only through God’s grace that something terrible didn’t happen, and I am incredibly grateful for that miracle.

I know a lot of parents who were not so lucky.

I’ve met too many who lost a son or daughter in the teenage years. My son has been to three funerals of guys he used to run around with in high school. We have good friends with a son in prison because an innocent night out drinking led to someone dying in a car accident. I’ve worked with many dozens of Moms and Dads with kids who are struggling and suffering due to substance abuse, and there are millions more of them out there.    

Should you be worried about your teenager’s safety? Let’s look at both sides of that question …

Ten Reasons You Should Be Worried

Some of the reasons below apply to every teenager in every family. How many of them fit yours?

1. All teenagers will face risks and be tempted by drugs and alcohol.
  • There are many risk factors which can contribute to the development of substance abuse. They include heredity, upbringing, a new town or school, divorce or other traumatic situations, and medical and psychological issues such as depression and ADHD.
  • Drugs are prevalent and easy to obtain, and every teenager will know many kids who drink alcohol or use drugs. Temptations and access to substances are as close of our kid’s cell phone through social media, the internet, and texts or messages from friends.
  • The alcohol industry pours millions of advertising dollars into trying to influence our children. There are many longitudinal studies that link youth exposure to alcohol advertising to the likelihood that kids will begin drinking early or drink more.
  • Research confirms teens find it more difficult to control impulsive or risky behaviors when their friends are around. (Scholastic)
2. Virtually every teen has unmet needs and issues they want to solve.

Teenagers do what they do for a reason. Parents should seek to understand the needs and issues that are important to their kids and help them navigate them safely rather than choosing to use alcohol or drugs to solve their problems. Here are some examples:

  • Nathan likes to have fun and being the life of the party gives him acceptance.
  • Mary is going through a rebellious stage and—deep inside—she wants to be seen.
  • Tim is insecure, doesn’t fit in at school, and is increasingly feeling hopeless and alone.
  • Betsy is good at school yet feels pressure to make perfect grades so she is not less than.
  • Bobby sees on social media how great his friends are doing, and he thinks he is broken.
  • Nancy has anxiety about lots of things and desperately wants to feel more normal.
3. Anxiety is an especially pervasive problem with many young people.
  • Temptations, needs, and issues can sometimes pile up on a teenager.
  • Clinical anxiety disorders for young people are 70% higher than adults.
  • Almost 1 in 3 teenagers will experience some form of anxiety disorder.
  • Two-thirds of college students say they experience “overwhelming anxiety.”
4. Teenage brains are not yet developed to evaluate risks effectively.
  • Our brain’s control center is the prefrontal cortex which performs functions including weighing outcomes, forming judgments, and controlling impulses. This part of a young person’s brain is not fully developed until their mid-20s.
  • Many teenagers live in the moment and do not evaluate future risks well. Some believe they’re bullet proof, and they don’t think much about negative outcomes such as being arrested, accidents, or overdose.
  • When they’re under the influence of substances, a teenager’s decision-making can become horrible.
5. Most high schoolers will try, use, or abuse alcohol or drugs.
  • Drinking, vaping, and smoking pot are largely seen as normal behavior with little stigma or risk, and they pose significant attraction for many young people.
  • Most drugs are easy to obtain from friends or other sources.
  • 75% of high school students will use addictive substances. (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse)
  • 40% of high schoolers will abuse dangerous substances. (National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse)
6. There is a “perfect storm” created by dangerous opiod drugs.
  • Opiod pills such as hydrocodone (Vicodin) and oxycodone (OxyContin and Percocet) are generously prescribed by doctors and dentists and very widely available including at home, from friends, and over the internet.
  • Those pills can lead naturally to another opiod drug—heroin—that is cheaper and feels even better than pills, and heroin does not have the stigma with young people that it did a generation ago.
  • Any of those or other drugs could be laced with fentanyl, a synthetic opiod that is 50 times more powerful than heroin.
  • The amount of fentanyl that can fit on the tip of a pencil can potentially be deadly. In recent years, fentanyl has now become the leading cause of death for young adults 18 and over.
7. Impaired driving is one of the biggest dangers facing teenagers.
  • The leading cause of teenage deaths and disabilities is motor vehicle accidents. (CDC)
  • Kids may get in the car with an impaired driver knowingly or unknowingly. In surveys, 17% of high school students reported riding as recently as during the last month with a driver who had been drinking alcohol. (Tracking System Direct)
  • All substances, including alcohol and marijuana, limit driving awareness and slow reaction time.
  • Traveling at 70 miles per hour, a hesitation of only 1 second allows a vehicle to travel more than 100 feet.
8. Suicide is a very real danger for many young people today.
  • A teenager’s world is largely made up of their immediate surroundings as they currently see them. One or more incidents such as a break-up, being shunned by friends, public embarrassment, or bad grades may lead a young person to feelings of hopelessness.
  • Tragically, about 9% (1 in 11) of high schoolers attempt suicide, and 19% (1 in 5) consider it.
  • The proliferation of drugs makes suicide-by-overdose easier to execute than it used to be.
9. Substance abuse can happen with any teenager.
  • Many young people don’t view substances as that big a deal, and their friends don’t either.
  • There is a correlation between attributes that lead to high achievement and those of addiction such as a sense of control, intelligence, perfectionism, and self-sufficient decision-making.
  • Many academic high-achievers feel pressure for getting the highest grades possible, and they may turn to attention-enhancing drugs such as Adderall to help them do better at school.
  • One of the most powerful forces acting on teenagers is a desire to fit in. If they are outgoing, they may want to have fun and party. If they are insecure, they just want to be accepted by others.
10. Substance abuse can happen in any family.
  • In studies, people who identify as Christian were as likely to have used marijuana as those who consider themselves an atheist.
  • Many churches don’t address issues such as alcohol and drugs effectively or at all, and many Christian schools are the same.
  • Kids growing up in wealthy neighborhoods may face additional stress from high expectations, see alcohol as widely accepted, and be taught that they shouldn’t share their problems with others.
  • If there is substance use in the family, the odds are 50% higher it will continue into the next generation, but it also happens when there is no substance use at all by the parents.

Should you be worried about your teenager’s safety? The answer is: “Yes, you should.”

Because then you will hopefully do something about it. But if you become informed, proactive, and intentional about preparing for the teenage years, you can feel more competent and more confident about what may happen—or not happen.

So you never have to say, “We thought substance abuse only happened to other people.”

Five Reasons You Should Not Worry

Rather than allowing worry to immobilize them, parents should harbor a healthy concern for the safety of their teenagers. They can use this awareness as a catalyst to prepare for the teenage years. Here are five reasons parents can consider that can lessen their worry and lead to better lives for their kids:

1. Things change for teenagers, but parents can change too.
  • Being a good parent is a choice, and any Mom or Dad can do it if they commit to do their best.
  • Become more proactive and intentional in their parenting. This starts by not allowing busy-ness, naivete, laziness, or being uncomfortable keeping them from doing what is best for their kids.
  • Be thoughtful rather than random or impulsively driven by the emotions of the moment.
  • Being balanced in their parenting to avoid either over-parenting or under-parenting. This includes watching for codependency to avoid being too controlling (which exasperates them) or too enabling (which cripples them from learning to live life effectively).
  • Getting more informed about the teenage years, which is what this article is about.
2. Parents can be a very positive influence on their kids.
  • 80% of teens say the biggest influence on their decision to drink is their parents. (Children’s MD)
  • Parents can learn to communicate better with their kids. This starts by striving to understand them and their needs, showing empathy, and connecting with them right where they are.
  • Kids learn from the example set by their parents—good or bad. By focusing on living a positive lifestyle themselves, parents can model the way for their kids to live in a healthy manner.
  • Moms and Dads don’t have to be perfect to be great parents, just do their best. Kids can learn from a parent who is humble about the things they are working on themselves, and this sets a great example for their kids to do the same.
3. No matter how much kids struggle, there is always hope.
  • Most teenagers who try, use, or even abuse substances will eventually get better.
  • Tens of millions of people have prevented or recovered from addiction successfully.
  • There are positive steps that teens and parents can take that are proven to help.
  • If parents are proactive, they will feel better knowing they are doing their best.
  • God is always there, and he does some of his best work in our toughest times.
4. Many situations that allow substance use to escalate are preventable.
  • “We thought substance abuse only happened to other people.”
  • “We didn’t think their problems were that serious or dangerous.”
  • “We couldn’t communicate with them once they became teenagers.”
  • “We didn’t know what to do to help them when they were struggling.”
  • “We should have done something sooner, but we waited too late.”
5. There are positive steps parents can take to help protect their kids.
  • Preparation: Become proactive and prepared to protect your kids from substance abuse.
  • Awareness: Be aware of what your kids are going through and challenges they face.
  • Connection: Deepen and strengthen your relationship with your son or daughter.
  • Education: Equip your kids to deal with life issues and situations they will face.
  • Steps: Build a plan to help them become the man or woman they are meant to be.

PACES for Parents at StepsProactiveParenting.com is an online learning center with simple, effective resources you can use to help your teenagers thrive and protect them from substance abuse. This material addresses all five of the areas mentioned above. 

Parents who use this online education will worry less because they are doing what they can for their kids. Their teenagers will appreciate how their parents have changed, and it will help them work on changes they need to make in their own lives. 

Parenting is hard, and parents deserve all the help they can get. Especially with teenagers, but also with pre-teens, because studies show that drug and alcohol use often start in those years. And the last thing parents want to worry about is the safety of their kids.

Question: Do you feel motivated by the importance of parenting in the teenage years?

Action: Take a moment to re-commit to becoming the very best parent you can be.

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